Dead, Death, and Dying
by DomesticatedWerewolves
Summary: Radu Dracula betrayed his elder brother centuries ago, siding with the Turks, wreaking havoc upon his brother’s kingdom, and stealing the throne. Now he has returned to offer his guilt to the Nosferatu. But the question remains; how is he still alive?
1. Nostalgia

Kana: _AGH…_just_…agh…_(flails) I've recently read a wonderful story of the dysfunctional _Dracula_ family called my history textbook (makes a face) it offered a wide variety of plot bunnies just _dying_ to escape – evil little buggers – and I just cant _help_ myself. I don't know whether anyone has done this before, and I seriously doubt anyone hasn't, but it won't go away. (I have this _serious_ urge to call him 'Ragu' XD )

**Summary: **Radu Dracula betrayed his elder brother centuries ago, siding with the Turks, wreaking havoc and destruction upon his brother's kingdom, and stealing the throne. Now he has returned, to offer his guilt to the Nosferatu. But the question remains; how is he still alive?

**Setting:** Sometime after WWIII. As this is AU, the ending of the war is AU as well. Pip is dead though (insert funeral march), but Walter is here (continue with happy songs followed by _Psycho_) since the Major's death might have snapped him out of that bad, _bad…__**BAD**_ phase.

**Disclaimer: **(Almost missed this one) I don't own Hellsing, or the Dracl family (Or Dracula family, or Tepes, which ever you choose)

Everyone is always adding Radu into the story. Some day I shall writing something on poor Mircea, possibly about Alucard watching his death…_hmmm…_the bunny awakens…I swear, it was three am, I was downstairs drinking Cola, and all of a sudden I went _bunny_, and ran off to write this. It happens frequently.

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter One: Nostalgia**

OOOOO

_Do you still enjoy torture? I remember them telling me that you captured small mice in your cell, and impaled the little creatures on tiny spears. Abraham had you summed up so easily, saying that you had a child-mind. _

_You always fought for the attention. Gaining the throne of Wallachia __**three**__ times – and me only once -, becoming the infamous Count Dracula, plotting world domination, and even now, the great No Life King. So strong, so deadly, so…you. Always malicious, always just, always royalty. _

_I want to hate you; to hate you with such passion that it makes my heart burn. You are everything I am not. _

_But I cannot. You are my brother, even more so than Mircea was. _

_I want to make peace._

OOOOO

Integra blew smoke above her head and watched it fade into a vague cloud before vanishing into the ceiling. She did it again, over and over until her cigar was worn down into a small stub and a mist of smoke covered the ceiling. Her dinner lay half eaten, the pie and mash forgotten easily with the fork still sticking erect in the potatoes, as if Integra had abruptly decided that she had finished.

Something was bothering the great Iron Maiden so much…that she couldn't work. Integra was at a loss, and something was making her fidget. She refused to work until the feeling had passed, lest her mood make her work sub-par. _Heaven forbid_.

Lighting another cigar, Integra forced herself to relax, hopefully making the task of finding what was disturbing her easier. And smoking always made her muscles less tense (for they were never fully calm. It was a curse).

"If Alucard was here, he would comment on your terrible smoking habits." Walter stated, opening the door practically unnoticed. It would take Integra another few months to get used to his new shape – she was so used to the grandfatherly butler waltzing around the estate carefully, not a teen whipping from job to job, effectively performing every task asked of him until he had sufficiently done each one with so much time to spare in the evenings that she had been forced to allow him to accompany the soldiers on missions, to his evident glee. He had been given another chance at life since his change from vampire back to human, though she was sure he would spend it exactly as he had his former one.

But with Alucard, Seras, and the newly recruited Angel of Death on Hellsing's side, and nothing truly 'exciting' happening since the fall of the last of the Third Reich, it was like turning the 'MIA' Jackal into a water gun. It was characteristic of an organization to become lethargic at such a period of peace, but Integra knew that was how many things failed.

"Like _you_ should be talking of smoking habits," Integra said, offering her lighter to Walter as he strode up, a pack of _Carrolls_. "How did you pick up the habit again?"

"New set of lungs," Walter smacked his chest twice. "I might as well waste them while they're still fresh." He puffed for a moment, smiling as if the smoke was a happy memory. His expression melted into that of pure bliss. "I could smoke a million of these and still find them utterly perfect."

Integra took a moment, contemplating on Walter's relaxed state. "Pardon me for interrupting your pleasant smoking experience; but is there something in particular that you wish to speak with me about?"

"Yes," Walter crinkled his cigarette into the silver ashtray and cleared his throat, blowing out one last lungful of smoke before continuing and straightening to his former, more familiar posture. "The remaining Wild Geese have informed me of a visitor requesting to see you."

"Is it Iscariot?"

"No, sir. He speaks to the guards of asking you about…family matters."

"Family matters?"

"In other words: Alucard will most definitely find this interesting."

OOOOO

Seras couldn't put her finger on it – she was at a loss, stumped. She had thought about the matter for at least five minutes, and it still was a mass of confusing knots. Even the Wild Geese were investigating the matter – in their own way, which usually included prodding the problem with their rifles.

Why did the man look so much like her master?

The visitor was tall like her master, with the same slim stature and elegant way of holding himself. His black hair was long, like Alucard's when he wasn't slinking around in his red ensemble, and he had one of the most handsome faces she would probably ever see on a man, with high cheekbones and large red eyes. If the Geese hadn't hesitated at his gentlemanly suit, they would have shot the vampire on the spot.

If she didn't know better, she would have categorized him as a Nosferatu. But her master was the only one, right?

"Alright, back off!" Seras continued to shoo any Geese away from the man as their curiosity got the better of them. There were so few mercenaries left (maybe three of the originals, with a few dozen others thrown in – she just called all of them Geese now); she didn't feel like losing any more to a disgruntled, high-class vampire. "Give him some space!"

A wave of whispers ran along the Geese as they backed off, still eyeing the new vampire with caution. The word 'vampire' still put cold fear into the heart of the mercenaries since the Third War, and they were slightly more skittish around Seras ever since she ingested the blood of their captain, but with a respective air. Alucard, on the other hand, was no longer just someone they rarely saw and killed with, he was a horror show to them. They understood his power, and more than once one of the original three left would drop a gun on another's toe at the very sight of him. The new legionaries had been confused of the fear of their own comrades – until one of the Geese told them of Alucard's hoards of souls. They all shut up about it after that.

Seras stood a safe distance away, watching the man as he scanned the mansion grounds, every so often making a move to walk up to the entrance, but then rethinking the notion and stepping back once more. His face was that of supreme conflict and anxiety. What was he here for?

At once a guard trotted out to the barracks, bringing news that made the man jump up and run into the house with him, having to round back every so often when he went ahead of the guard.

Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Seras left the first lieutenant in charge and followed behind the two inconspicuously, keeping her severed shadow-arm in front of her to work as slight camouflage against the darkening sky. She could have regenerated her arm easily after the war, but now it was more apart of her than the original limb.

But even as she tried her best to remain under the guard's radar, Seras couldn't help but feel as though the strange man could see what she was doing, and was allowing it with good-humor.

OOOOO

"Where _is_ Alucard?" Integra asked after a moment of watching the door. She knew Walter was right outside the door, waiting for the visitor. And she was right.

A black mop of hair poked in after a moment. "He is currently having a bout of nostalgia."

"Meaning…?"

"He's playing pranks on me. They don't work as well as they used to, but he seems to find them just as amusing." Walter wedged a spot on his waistcoat that looked as if it had been set on fire through the door. "His older form is not as enticing as it used to be, now that I've had a bit of experience with it." He continued to 'stand guard.'

Integra made a mental note to reprimand the vampire on this subject. "Is the visitor coming?"

"Of course," Walter said, his tone slightly muffled by the door. "I sent for him fifteen minutes ago; perhaps it would be best if you finished your supper."

"No thank you," Integra eyed the forgotten meal. "It's surely cold by now."

"Perhaps some tea to lift your spirits?" That was Walter, always trying to get her to relax.

"No," She snuffed out another cigar. "No…; is Alucard still sleeping?"

"Evening is still working its way across the horizon, so he should still be in his coffin." Walter could already tell what she was going to ask –

"Go fetch him for me, please." Integra disliked calling Alucard through telepathy, and usually had him or Seras get the vampire if he was not already near, or somewhere within the vicinity of her office – like he usually was.

"Will do." With a flurry of feet and smoke, Walter was gone, racing down the hallway with all the vigor he had once lost.

Integra smiled slightly, though to the naked eye, it was as if her mouth had twitched very softly. To everyone else, it was a miracle. She would be close to something called satisfaction if not for the uneasy feeling in her gut.

OOOOO

Walter found Alucard still sleeping like the dead, his coffin shut tight. Packs of blood were scattered around the casket and on the lid, with a puddle of the fluid dripping from a half-finished bag onto the floor. He flinched at Alucard's disgusting eating habits.

He rapped on the lid, hearing the Nosferatu groan and smack it back. "It's night, time to get up Alucard."

The lid raised an inch, allowing a glowing red eye to peek through. "Go away," he rasped.

"Up," Walter threw the lid off, and immediately regretted it.

"You've gotten so mean, Walter," Alucard said, adjusting her white pillbox hat and gloves.

"That's nice," Walter smiled with gratification as Alucard pouted, returning to his usual form, his clothes materializing as he stepped from the coffin, still looking sleepy. He looked like a groupie of a heavy metal band, his hair covering most of his face. "Do you need a moment to get the spiders out of your head or are you all set and done?"

"Shut up, brat," Alucard jammed his hat on his head, trying to wonder what was making him so irritable. "I'm perfectly able to wake up and be alert on the spot."

Amused, Walter nodded to him once and dashed out the door again. Alucard couldn't help but smile despite his mood; he was so glad to have his energy back again.

But why did he feel so irate; furious enough to tear something from the wall, or perhaps just break the wall down.

Yeah…he was mad enough to break down the damn wall.

OOOOO

Integra clicked her nails on her desk exactly three hundred forty seven consecutive times before Alucard finally dissolved through a wall, his hair slightly dusty from what appeared to be rubble.

"What did you do?" She asked suspiciously as he took off his hat to shake it, letting bits of stone and dust fall to the carpet.

"Forgive me Master, but there is a wall in the dungeons that needs to be repaired."

"How damaged is it?"

Alucard gestured to the bits of debris on the floor. "That is the wall."

She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "You will be punished when I see that it is fit – perhaps even to rebuild the wall yourself – but not now. At the moment I have called you to inform you of a visitor."

"Oh?" Alucard's right brow practically disappeared above his hairline. Integra never called him when it involved visitors. If anything she ordered him to remain in his room. "And who might this man be?"

Opening her mouth, Integra began to say who the visitor was (or at least, who Walter thought he was) but the aforesaid butler entered the room, the strange man in tow. Alucard's eyes barely widened behind his sunglasses, but Integra nearly flinched at the wave of emotions that battered her from his mind; rage was a big part of the emotions, as was despair.

The extremely handsome man stepped forward without consent from Integra or Walter, and embraced Alucard, who remained as stiff as a board.

"My brother," He whispered.

He was Radu Dracula, younger brother to Vlad Dracula; known as _Radu cel Frumos_, Radu the Handsome, once Prince of Wallachia, and betrayer to his family.

And he didn't even flinch when Alucard shot him in the stomach with the _Casull_ three times. All he did was smile and bleed.

OOOOO

Kana: Oi veh, I hate mid-years with a serious passion (much like Alucard up there). Man, I feel like this chapter was one big cliché (sizzles) And I can't get this image of Radu snuggling Alucard as he shoots him over and over until he's just one big slab of gristle holding onto his leg X3

Read, love it or hate it (and if so, leave _constructive_ criticism. Insult me like that guy Simon, I don't care, but be _constructive_), and review (then tell Iscariot to pray for me cause I need to work myself up to Ivy League level).

In other words; READ AND REVIEW! XP


	2. Family Matters

Kana: (sigh…sigh…_sigh_) Just…read the damn story…(flails into bed and falls asleep) I just spent a few hours reading the new Grey Griffins book (who cares if its WAY below my reading level? It's a marvel of human creativity) and I was all BOING when Vlad Dracula came in! I probably annoyed my poor, poor friend babbling on about the spiffiness.

**Disclaimer:** When I own Hellsing it will be the year 2012, and the world will be destroyed (but only if you listen to Nostradamus…or the Mayans…(sobs) We're all gonna die!).

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Two: Family Matters**

OOOOO

"Walter, hold him back!"

"I'll injure him!"

"I don't care – he'll kill him!"

"_I won't kill him, I'll impale him slowly! I'll __**murder**__ him! It's two different things because the former implies that I kill him quickly!_"

Walter was struggling to keep Alucard from tearing Radu apart, then stabbing each of the pieces. The young man had put all of his weight into securing his wires around the vampire's chest, wrists, and ankles, effectively making him drop to the floor with his arms down near his sides. But he was slowly working his way through the sharp strings, loosing a layer of skin at the same time. Integra was putting all her strength into the seals, but Alucard was struggling against them, the insignia on his gloves glowing as bright as coronas. He must have been in a world of pain.

"Permission for limited release!" Alucard screamed, writhing in vain.

"Denied!" Integra walked over to him and, from lack of being able to think of anything else, bluntly kicked him in the head. Alucard yelped and stiffened, continuing to glare at Radu as if it would make the man explode. "Now stand down and let the man talk!"

Alucard growled, but complied, putting his face into the carpet and banging his head. One of his eyes peeked out at the bleeding, twitching body before him as Radu licked his wounds, his gentlemanly attitude gone in favor of a more beastly one. He was currently having a bit of a problem working around the silver bullets, which burned his tongue.

After the atmosphere had finally relaxed, Walter sighed. "We're becoming quite the dysfunctional group, are we not?"

"It would seem so." Integra rubbed her temples slowly, tapping her foot next to Alucard's head threateningly. She may not wear stilettos, but her rounded shoes hurt more than one would think.

OOOOO

Seras's eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she peeked in on the situation through a crack in the door. Her heart beat frantically as she prayed that her master was too occupied to notice her, and at the same time wanting him to see her, or perhaps become the Count again and smile (for she had been wishing that since the war ended). Maybe the introduction of his brother would make him do so.

A boyish whistle that obviously wasn't hers rang through her head, making Seras bristle. _Boy, Fillette, you get way too hung up about that master of yours._

She bit her lip to hide her squeak. "Oh shut up; didn't you ever crave attention from your parents?" she whispered.

_I don't remember, Girly, but I would not be this desperate just for a smile, _Pip chuckled, grinning in her Mind's Eye.

"Shut up!" Seras hissed, protecting herself even more with her demonic arm. "You know, I'd rather you out here talking to my breasts than in my head where I can't tune you out!"

_Oh, you are such a coquette_, _Cherie_, Pip purred.

Seras blocked him out and focused on the scene behind the door, fiddling with the hem of her uniform with her good arm. Her master was struggling on the floor, grumbling. Integra tapped her foot a few times and then said something to Walter, who bowed respectively and stood back, his wires flying back to his palms.

_If these Hellsings get any weirder that Iron Maiden is going to begin to go insane –_

"Pip!"

_Just for no reason start going 'dumdum diddee' and wear shirts with 'HEH' written across the front –_

"Pip!"

_And Big Red Fedora Hat over there will start using the phrases 'stupid' and 'dope' and go 'Yeeah boi' all the time –_

"_PIP!_" Seras didn't know how loud she was getting as she flushed to her hairline. Her master acting like that – it was so unreal.

_And then maybe this new Radu guy can finally get us on an American reality show –_

"_**PIP**_!" Seras was screeching now.

"Miss Victoria," Walter was standing above her, making Seras realize that she had been kneeling. "Is there something you and the Captain wish to add to this reunion?"

Seras made a tiny 'meep' sound and shook her head, still blushing heavily. Walter smiled. "Good. Perhaps you care to join us?" She nodded this time. "That's a good girl." He tapped her head twice and walked back into the room, leaving Seras to blush in peace.

…_I blame you_.

OOOOO

Radu had this way of making tea so that it also appealed to the pallet of vampires. He gave a cupful of the odd, sweet-smelling tea to Integra, who – for once in her life – hesitated and sniffed it before sipping. She was a bit surprised that he could still move, especially while Walter was plucking the bullets from his spine with medical tweezers. The butler was a bit reproachful at having to remove them from a moving target.

"I've never tasted this kind of leaf before," Integra mused, taking another – longer – sip.

"It's Japanese," Radu grinned, watching with slight amusement as Seras did the same thing, only with much more enthusiasm. "With rice."

"Don't count the rice, Police Girl." Alucard snapped when Seras began to stare fixedly at the shallow, yellowish tea. His cup lay untouched as he nursed wounds on his wrists from Walter's wires, licking the gashed until they healed. He was so repulsed by the tea that he used his foot to make it scoot further away from him. "You'll never be able to stop."

"How do vampires drink this without becoming ill?" Walter asked, digging the tweezers deep into a wound, pushing apart the muscle and finding the third and last bullet. It was wedged into Radu's spine, molded to the bone. It was a wonder he was still moving his legs.

Radu was smiling so wide his lips were going off his face – literally. "It all comes down to immunity. _Genmaicha_ used to only be served to the poor, and because of their numbers, vampires would usually drink from common folk, who would usually still have the tea in abundance in their blood. I'm not sure of how it works, but that's the gist of it." He didn't even flinch as Walter ripped the last bullet from his spine, and instead looked back to survey the work. "Hmm, you're quite good at this for such a small boy."

Walter blushed so hard Integra was surprised his head didn't explode. Seras muffled her giggle by taking another sip, and had to think depressing thoughts to keep it from going up her nose – which was not very pleasant for a vampire. Once Pip had made her laugh when she was having a meal from a ghoul, and the blood had come _right_ out her nose, to Alucard's evident joy.

"Oh, look at the time," Walter looked at his watch – _damn_, he didn't have a watch; time to improvise. "I think I hear the kettle." He was halfway to the door when –

"The kitchen is below us, and I hear no kettle." Integra smirked, taking another sip and chewing on the bit of rice that was left at the bottom.

"Yes, but I do." And then Walter was gone.

"Did I say something wrong?" Radu looked around in curiosity.

As if on cue, Pip decided to chime in with his own comment.

_The butler is black…the butler is blue…cause he looks like…he could go out with you…_He sang, making Seras's ears ring. Or maybe her mind rang, since the sound was centering inside her head instead of on the sides.

"Oh shut up," She snapped, chewing on the rice.

Alucard, at the moment, was sitting on the back of a delicate 'fancy' couch. And like every delicate 'fancy' couches, it was very unstable with him sitting on it. And even a vampire king was bound to make a delicate 'fancy' couch topple over.

So as soon as Integra got off her side of this delicate 'fancy' couch to get closer to Radu, gravity got the best of the poor Nosferatu and sent him falling backwards – with more than a few curses – onto the floor.

"_Damn it all!_" He bellowed before disintegrating into the floor.

Integra glared at the spot and the fallen couch, wondering whether she should lock him in his coffin until kingdom come. Then she thought against it, as she didn't feel like listening to him whine.

"Well," Radu stared nervously at the toppled couch. "_Now_ I know I've done something wrong…" He fidgeted uncomfortably. "Maybe I should leave…"

"No," Integra snapped, holding him back in his chair as he tried to get up. She stared at the door. "He's always like that."

"He's always irate?"

"No – he's always a jackass."

OOOOO

"You know…you people need to learn how to knock."

Integra squinted into the darkness, trying to see through the thick atmosphere. The last time she'd stormed in here without checking she'd nearly killed herself tripping over his coffin. That was something she did not wish to experience again.

Alucard had draped himself over his 'throne', his long legs over an arm with his elbows on the other. He had his hat over his face, as if the sudden light spilling in from the open door hurt his eyes, but she knew he could see her just as well as anyone else. A few fresh piles of blood bags were at the seat of the chair, most of them only half empty and thrown away, as if none of them were up to Alucard's standards.

"Shut up and look at me." Integra hissed, walking up to his chair. A half-empty bottle of red wine mixed with warm blood was sitting on his little table, but the glass was no where in site. Upon inspection of the room, she saw the glass's fragments in a corner, probably after having been thrown. The poor, unsuspecting wine glass.

"I am looking at you," he rasped, holding up his palm, where an eye was blinking innocently at her. "See? You look very lovely when you are angry."

"Look at me with your actual eyes or I'll personally jab all of them out with silver nails." Integra tapped her foot, making clear clicking noises on the cobble stones. Her hand shot out and grabbed his fedora, tossing it over her shoulder. If she had looked back she would have seen it disappear in a flurry of shadows before it hit the floor.

"That's not very nice," Alucard smiled pleasantly at her, but Integra did not need to struggle to see the antipathy in his eyes. "That's my favorite hat."

"It's your only hat." She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest, looking down her nose at him. "I know you're not one to accept someone's forgiveness and drop a grudge, but how could one man give you so much grief?"

Alucard's hat materialized over his face again as he rested back once more. This made it impossible for her to read his expression.

"He made my wife jump from the tower." He mumbled to the hat's lining. "The bastard made her commit suicide."

OOOOO

Kana: Aw, Alucard's so sad! (hugs Vlad the Impaler and gets…impaled)…(bleeds) You guys better be happy about this update, since its two AM here and I'm running of pure insomnia! Dracula is SEXY! X3 What…is it only my opinion? T-T

Review Responses:

Cannot fathom a PenName: I FREAKING LOVE YOU! Sorry, I do that when a review is expressive like that XP I love the Alucard – Walter relationship during WWII, I often use it as a base for a lot of my original characters.

Mina: Where'd you get your facts? Radu Dracula was a traitor to his family when he converted to Muslim and became a kind of 'figure head' and war tactician for the Turks.

KageAmaya491: Nah, the furry plot bunny of DOOM is still in development…but I'm working on it. This is the fuzzy plot bunny from HELL. There's a difference. MY Radu was turned – not by Alucard – but by something else ;) I'm not telling. I love Walter too (though it's more Dawn Walter and not DARK Walter). Why can't you laugh during homework? I laugh a lot – usually cause my math book is appalling and has a lot of 'LAWLZ' crap written in it. Aw, but I love Yami no Malik. He AND Sessy are cute (Fluffy and Spiky).

VampireEgyptian: (sniffle)…(sniffle)…(bursts into tears) WHA! (runs away) (Touzoku: Oo Oh dear…I think you hurt her feelings…) (Alucard: (nod-nod) Indeed…if Kana-kun was here, she would first scold you for saying such a thing in all caps, then thank you for liking the story, then say some strange things – most of which include me without a shirt – and then RAWR you back before walking away)

Master of the Boot: I love a good Radu/Alucard/family fun story. The Dracula family was FUCKED UP…'nuff said. A plot bunny is another term for a story idea that just seems to 'pop' up, very much like a bunny and very erratically. There are also 'kinds' of plot bunnies (I usually get black emo/angst plot bunnies, pink yaoi plot bunnies, orange humor plot bunnies, weird little purple poetry plot bunnies, or the very, very rare crimson heterosexual plot bunnies). There was this ONE time I got a very awkward smutty bunny during History and it wouldn't leave me alone until I fantasized about it and drooled on my sleeve – which was noticed. X3 I'm very bad…

End Responses

Kana: I'm currently working on two more Hellsing fics before I force myself back into a Yugioh obsession (probably with some AE arc manga and subs cause Touzoku makes me laugh with his girl scout voice (cackles)) one is a sort of Seras-conflict thing because _Fortune_ made me see how many fans Seras has – and I feel like working on writing her personality – and the other is a Hellhound humor fic. I'd get through them faster but…well…I've been back into a World of Warcraft phase again with the new WRATH pack coming out. Plus I've met some new friends on there (all of which are guys…Oo and one is the cutest thing you could ever meet – hope he isn't a stalker)

I must go now, for I have school in…a few hours X.X

REVIEW! PLEASE!


	3. Prince

Kana: BWA! LOVE! I am in SUCH a good mood – I won't tell why though!

**Disclaimer:** I…DON'T OWN…HELLSING! ZOMGGGGG! I wish I was apart of the Dracula family – they were a strange little bunch of nutcases (did I already say that? Well they WERE) Actually, Alucard's 'past' works well with the entire _Dracula_ book, since when Vlad the Impaler's remains were found, they turned to dust in the minutes when the tomb was exposed to fresh air and sunlight (I hope my history book isn't fucking with me D: - it probably is). MWA -…HAHA

I really tried Vamp, I really did. I watched the subs, I spammed 4kids, but I just didn't jump start Yugioh for me (probably cause I had to take a break for school and was attacked by a furry puppy with the same affliction for Hellsing). I'll try to work on ITPOF, I promise T-T

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Three: Prince**

OOOOO

_It was Armageddon; destruction, the apocalypse; death, blood, screams of the dying; men, woman, children. It was wonderful; the blood was the most beautiful color when it flowed from the throat of an infant._

_And he was in the center, killing, drinking, laughing, crying. He laughed as tears poured into his open mouth, rich with blood and salt. He alone was God, only he could decide who died and who lived; and today, no one did either. He killed and brought them back to life, using their souls to fuel himself, trapped within a hell within hell. _

_He was a terror to all who saw him, even his enemies hesitated, and he used that to his advantage. _

_The fun stopped. __**Pain**__, such pain, something was killing him. Him! God!_

"_NO!"_

_He closed his eyes and accepted death. Finally. His sanity returned, and he was repulsed by his complex. No one was God; there was no such being. _

_But there was no death, for no human could defeat such a monster as he._

_There had only been one man who had ever gotten close to breaking him. Only one._

OOOOO

Radu had just wanted to see his brother (he swears), but found that Vlad had been sleeping on his throne, his waist coat undone and his cravat untied. A vibrant red coat was draped across the back of the seat, and a wide-brimmed hat was hung crookedly on a wine bottle on a small, personal side-table. One hand was resting on his stomach like a contented animal, and the other was hanging off the chair, its white glove soft and spotless.

He had stepped closer, his feet making no sound. His brother had gotten a younger form when he was turned – or perhaps…something else? He hadn't seen Vlad for centuries; things must have happened. Dracula had been described as a middle-aged man with shocks of white hair mixed with black, and a graying mustache and beard. That sounded more like his brother before his 'death.' But this form didn't resemble him at all…

Watching Vlad sleep, Radu tried to remember his 'new' name. No…that wasn't it…not even close…_Alucard?_ Could it be that simple?

Vl – Alucard was a heavy sleeper, with only the occasional twitch of a face muscle to show that he still 'lived.' Radu had only left once to sneak a look at his sleek black coffin. _The Bird of Hermes?_ Perhaps that was what kept him bound to the Helsing family. Helsing? No, He_ll_sing. There.

Radu opened the lid with difficulty, and looked at the bare wood inside. A large pat of dark, cold dirt served as the only comfort, smelling heavily of Wallachia. Radu leaned in closer, smiling as he sniffed more. But either he didn't realize how loud he was being with his sniffling, or how keen Alucard's hearing had gotten.

"_Get away from my coffin."_

A chill ran down Radu's spine so fast he was certain it would have turned to ice if it wasn't already dead. He suddenly felt ill as his brother stepped down from his throne, his eyes flashing like angry coals from hell. A deep growl formed in Alucard's throat as Radu's tightened considerably. He let it loose and bore down upon the slightly shorter man, using the Older Sibling Advantage against Radu.

"What are you doing in my room?" He hissed. Radu wondered how such a simple, familiar line could make him so…so _scared_.

He smiled – this was his brother. "I just wanted to see you."

"Oh?" Alucard took another step forward, and Radu stepped back. "You saw me upstairs, and you _saw_ that I loathed you. So why haven't you left yet?"

"I will not leave until you have accepted my request for forgiveness." Radu held his head higher. After all, he _had_ held the throne as well.

"And what if I choose not to!?" Alucard snarled. "You betrayed me, no forgiveness is meant for bastards such as you; you are meant for the Ninth Circle!"

Radu looked like a beaten dog. He peered at his brother from beneath black bangs. "Am I to me forever frozen in ice up to my neck? Like Cain?"

"No…" Radu almost sighed in relief – _almost_. "You should be in the jaws of Satan in the Last Section!"

"I should have known that you would still hate me." Radu sighed, looking at a certain spot on the ground, a few inches from Alucard's shoes. The Nosferatu glared for a moment before turning on his heel, ready to go back to his slumber, but one last comment – "Did you ever find the body?"

"_**OUT!**_" A sudden roar, like a combination of the rush of water and some large beast, signaled the summoning of hounds, and Radu was forced to leave with a massive furry animal snapping at his heels with shark-teeth.

OOOOO

"You can't keep yourself locked in your coffin forever." Integra sat on the lid of Alucard's coffin, tracing the inscription with her right index finger. "I think you're forgetting you're place in this family."

The inside of the coffin remained silent except for a dull scratching - nails on wood. Alucard was digging his nails into the lid, as if to use it as a post onto which his anger could be wrought upon. Then there was a slight banging…

"Stop smacking your own head," Integral clicked her nails on the lid. "You'll give yourself brain damage." She twitched when she remembered who she was talking to.

"Like hell." Alucard growled, pushed the lid up with Integra still on it – with great ease, mind you. "That bastard is more likely to send me into an early grave."

"On the contrary – I'd be a very _late_ grave." Integra hopped off the lid as Alucard took his sweet time stepping from his coffin. The vampire looked haggard, his already red eyes terribly bloodshot. His skin was sticking tight to his bones under his coat. He looked like a bag of gristle and tendons. "Oh – you really should feed."

"I feel fine," Alucard stepped past her, bowing once he was at his door, and set off down the hall, walking like a wraith. "I fed this afternoon." His hair was turning a steely grey.

Integra shook her head in exasperation as a few screams erupted from further down the hall, signaling that Alucard had reached one of the estates hallways and scared another maid. She began to walk out of the dungeons, Radu appearing by her side. He had obviously seen Alucard.

"Shouldn't we tell him?" He asked, his voice barely as whisper.

"He won't listen," Integra pulled a cigar from her pocket and lit it with her silver lighter.

"Doesn't he realize that stress makes him -."

"Alucard doesn't realize anything relating to human emotion – he forgets he has such a thing." Integra took a long drag, stopping for a moment and speculating the floor. "It's best if he never has emotions other than anger and jubilation – my grandfather thought it best to keep him with his child-mind."

"And why is this?" Radu bit the inside of his cheek. He cherished his human emotions; they were all he had left of his humanity.

"Think of it like this: if Alucard were to suddenly realize all that he had done, all that he had seen and felt and lost; if he were to remember his imprisonment and his family dying before his eyes, wouldn't he go insane? He has already lost sanity over the years; I'd rather have him keep what he has left."

Radu contemplated this. "Like if a child witnesses a death, and forgets it over the years, one wouldn't go to lengths to makes them remember the traumatizing event."

"Exactly." Integra's lips moved to smile, but, as always, thought against it.

"But how are we going to get him to realize his sudden weakness?"

"Like we always do."

OOOOO

"This is insane!" Radu was horrified as he had to step back to avoid a flying piece of flesh. A head landed just inches from his left foot, making him clench his jaw in revulsion.

"This is _joyous_!" Alucard howled in joy, having been permission to reduce himself to Level Two. His long hair was plastered to his face with blood, and he eagerly licked it away with an unnaturally long tongue produced for that reason, and that reason only. He howled to frighten the ghouls, who ran away on instinct.

The fighting; Angel of Death in his prime once more; the new fledgling vampire – _Demeter's child _– killing alongside her master; and the King himself, with his jester brother to show off to: to scare him past morality.

Alucard whipped around, his soaked hair sticking to his body as he looked up at Integra as she stood, high above it all, on a cliff. He grinned with the air of a dog around him, and waited for her to give him the last killing order. She nodded, and he gave another cry of joy, shooting off into the hoards of ghouls and chaos, slitting it like the Biblical Red Sea. And it was a sea, a King's Red Sea of Blood. Integra stayed as rigged as a board, without guards to protect her.

Frowning upon the scene, Radu watched the miniscule Walter dart past him, his shirt stained nearly as much as Alucard. His fingers moved as if he were constructing, killing anything in his path. The smaller Seras Victoria was wielding a cannon bigger than she was, biting her tongue as she shot down more of the meaningless, haunted undead.

_There were so many ghouls_. Radu mourned for their lives, and dodged. Why had he come? To encourage his brother's beastly behavior? No…he wanted his Vlad back, not this monster.

Then it happened. Radu shivered as he felt the dull ache of silver nearby, and he looked around, and saw them. A yearling, wielding an iron sword, was charging at Integra, his fledgling holding a massive silver axe. And the maiden wasn't even blinking, just staring at the two in a calm manner as her death came to greet her head on.

Radu snarled, ready to defend her, but a dark figure beat him to it, screeching in animalistic rage as it barreled for the yearling, fangs gleaming with blood. Its _Casull_ was discarded on the ground, having run out of magazines.

Alucard ripped into the feral vampire, using fangs and hands to rip the creature apart. Integra only moved once, to avoid a large splash of blood, which was eagerly sucked up by tendrils of mobile shadows.

He forgot about the fledgling and its silver axe.

In a moment of weakness, as Alucard lapped up the blood around Integra's feet, the fledgling struck with deadly accuracy. With a single swoop, the great King was headless, and his skull rolled along the ground while his body slipped into the puddle – Radu let out a soft shriek of agony. Integra's eyes widened slightly as she withdrew her own sword, stabbing the vampire through the heart with ease.

"No!" Radu began to frantically run around Alucard's body as it lay motionless. "What do we do?! He needs help! Can we save him!?"

"Settle down," Integra ordered in her cool manner, sheathing her sword. "He's fine."

"He's _headless!_ That's death -!" Radu cradled his brother's corpse as it sifted to blood-colored dust between his fingers.

"I see he's going for effect." Integra watched the dust trail along the ground, Radu's eyes following it as it shifted and morphed. "Oh, hurry up you massive boast." She snapped.

"_As you wish_," Came the voice that made Radu suddenly realize that his brother was no longer the average vampire – greater than the powerful Nosferatu. He was so…so much more.

A tall, black figure rose from the dust, rising up like a dark wave. Alucard swelled, his eyes opening crooked and malevolent while a mouth of jagged teeth grinned at them. "I was just playing with my childe brother."

"You're horrible," Integra eyed him as he formed into his usual shape, his hat materializing inches from his head and plopping down.

"_Just __**playing**_," Alucard whined. "You never let me play."

"You're idea of playing also coincides with your idea of a meal." Integra scoffed, walking back to the convoy as everyone shook off their shock (actually, it was just Radu). Alucard grinned, obviously proud of himself. "Now _heel_,"

He eagerly obeyed, trotting behind her long stride – though his was considerably longer. When Radu tried to follow, his attitude suddenly changed as he turned his head around, showing an array of fangs as he bristled.

"You did nothing but take up space and get in the way – help the others pack up," Alucard snarled, his lips receding over a clenched jaw.

A dejected Radu could only stare as his coat flapped behind him. Integra looked over her shoulder momentarily, giving him a blank stare that said 'there's nothing I can do.'

There was nothing anybody could do. When Dracula made up his mind, nothing short of the Apocalypse would change it – his ideas of world domination and justice were evidence of that. So Radu watched him leave, walking behind his master with the mien of a King following his Queen. And that's what it was; England was still ruled by royalty in a very many literal ways.

Radu's face fell; was there any way to change Dracula's mind about his brother's betrayal?

Probably not.

OOOOO

_Today is Radu's birthday. And a certain Vlad Dracula is not happy. _

"_They __**hurt!**__" He whines, his toes curling in his shoes, which had gotten too tight for his six year old feet. He tries to wiggle his foot into one and finds it horribly uncomfortable. He is miserable, and it's making him irritable. _

_The ten year old Mircea looks at the shoes, smirks, and goes back to eyeing himself in a looking glass. Their father is slightly put back at his sons vanity. _

"_Those were my __**old**__ shoes," Mircea says, making a face at Vlad. "My __**new**__ ones are better." Vlad visibly winces. _

"_Settle down and look smart," Their father growls in his usual, stern tone. "Your mother is coming."_

_Vlad glares. "She's not my mother."_

_**WHACK!**__ Vlad staggers, his right cheek turning an angry pink as his father walks out, brimming with anger. He doesn't sob, and that makes Mircea stare until the pain induced tears start running from the little boy's eyes. Vlad bits the inside of his good cheek. _

_After a few minutes a woman (__**not**__ his mother) walks in. She is pretty, very pretty, and she holds a small bundle. Vlad already hates it, for it makes an unpleasant wailing noise for a moment, then quiets. _

"_Your brother," His father says. "You will grow to love him and protect him." _

_Mircea inspects the bundle carefully as the woman (__**not**__ his mother) lowers it by crouching. The elder smiles slightly, but Vlad is bitter. The thing is ugly, with a pinched red face and tiny hands that fumble. _

_He hates it. _

_Vlad goes to bed that night counting, hoping that by the time he was one thousand that his father would smile at him again. _

OOOOO

Kana: I'm kind of screwing with history a little, but I couldn't help myself X3 That was exactly six pages, so I am very pleased with myself. Hmm, not as many peeps like this story as they did _Fortune_. Why not? I'm the same author(ess), just with a different plot. I'll never get you people. O.O

Review Responses:

VampireEgyptian: (sniffle)…(sniffle) Okay…I'm better…Don't try to get that poor child into Hellsing, don't you know the rating!? DX Preserve that childish innocence…Anywhoosle, I'm trying to force myself into the fandom, but it's hard…so hard. But I'm hoping that as soon as I stop sleeping eighteen hours a day I'll watch some subs, laugh at Baku's voice, maybe buy some new AE manga, and be a very happy monkey (PS: Not really ALUCARD, more like VLAD – that is pure Romanian sex (its that damn mustache O.o D: My dad has a beard like that, and it scratches and hurts!)

Master of the Boot: I think all my stories have that sarcastic humor – which some people who know me call either cynicism or dark/dry humor. I love the whole Dracula family – right down to Alucard's fucked up son who was called _Mihnea the Wrongdoer_ (bad Mihnea, you do not mess up his good name!) I love Walter – young Walter, at least. He's wicked! Don't worry, I respect their character's too much to do anything with that weird Pip-quote (the other's though…were very foreshadowing…) My crap isn't anything near a masterpiece (now Ferris's stuff, that's good crap (nod)) it's more like 'shit a weird little Scottish lass writes during English.'

Ebony's Twilight: Honey, you need to tell me what's off, or I'm going to tear my hair out (since I'm sure my book is playing with me (hears history text snicker in distance) DX) Blessed be. (Bows and exits – what, I makes me feel formal X3)

Cannot fathom a PenName: Thanks love. In reality I hate my writing style and would do anything to improve it, but the customer is always right (sings as she dances away)

Tayhlon: Believe me, this isn't the only Hellsing Meets Alucard's Past story I'm working my way through. I'm probably the only one in my town that knows relatively anything about the Dracula family (foams at the mouth at the very mention of said family)

End Responses

Kana: (beats crap out of history book) YOU'RE SCREWING WITH ME AND I KNOW IT! XD

Review Please! (UBER-LUV)


	4. Tea Time

Kana: (ish dead)… (Ish _very_ dead)

**Disclaimer:** I will obtain ownership of Hellsing when the Apocalypse is upon us and flying cheese pizzas waft from my ears.

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Four: Tea Time**

OOOOO

Radu tried to watch his brother's daily routine, but found him to always be doing the same three things during his waking hours: either away on the missions given to him, beyond the human realm as he watched his master, or just _waiting_ for him to screw up. The only time Radu could see him completely without his guard up was at dawn, when he was lazily sitting on his throne, reading or just waiting for himself to be in that half-conscious place between sleep and waking so that he could drag himself to his coffin and fall asleep instantly.

Getting into the dungeons was the easy part – the Hellsings had been gracious enough to supply him with a crate of Romanian grave-dirt, for he had no coffin of his own, and give him a room, albeit far from Alucard's per prerequisite by the other vampire. It was getting into the room that was the tough part, since the first time Radu had been able to get in had obviously been a fluke.

The door was locked and shielded as tight as possible, and to add to that, the formidable Alucard had strewn white garlic flowers around it since his arrival. The Nosferatu may have been mostly immune to these ailments, but Radu still had his nostrils burned by the smell of the flowers, and the first night he tried to step across the halo they made, he had found himself wiping blood from his nose after howling in pain.

But after much note-taking, planning, and the re-reading of _Dracula_, Radu found that he would be able to sweep the garlic aside and phase through the door when the sun rose and when it set, when Alucard was at his weakest point as he woke or began to sleep. It was the perfect plan.

So Radu waited in silence inside the walls of Alucard's room, having snuck in the night before at sundown. Now he would get his chance, and he could hear his brother shuffling inside the room, completely unaware of Radu as the latter refused to even breathe.

Radu heard Alucard crack a few joints, and smiled when the familiar sound reached his ears. The vampire then heard him lift away his coffin's lid and step inside. Radu waited for ten minutes until he was sure Alucard was in a 'dead' vampire sleep.

Then Radu phased from the wall, strode over to the coffin, and held back a scream. Alucard's eyes were still open!

Biting the inside of his cheek, Radu tried to think of a way to explain this without being impaled upon his own spine. His thoughts shifted to _Dracula_, and he remembered how the monster slept; he realized that Alucard would not change his sleeping habits even after a change in status.

Letting out the breath he had been holding, Radu peered closer. Alucard slept with his eyes at half-mast when he was in his coffin, rather than like he did on his chair. His face was like stone, and his head had lolled to the left side, so it was as if he was looking at the wood of his coffin. His mouth was slightly open, and the tips of his pointed teeth cleared a bit of his ruddy lips. Radu grew slightly angry at Stoker, since his book did not do his brother justice.

"You _obviously_ have a death wish."

Radu jumped, swiftly putting the lid back on Alucard's coffin and turning around. The odd, slightly lethal looking child from before was there, a cigarette between his fingers. He puffed once before regarding him with amusement.

"Don't worry, Alucard could sleep through just about anything," Walter said, striding over and hopping on the lid. Radu bristled in anxiety when he rapped on the wood, but settled down when everything remained calm.

"I just wanted to see him." Radu said mournfully. "He's always so mad…"

"He has reason to be,"

Radu flushed as much as a vampire could and fiddled with his shirt hem. "So you've read up on his history."

Walter smirked. "I believe every one has. Even Miss Victoria knows of your betrayal."

"And you all hate me as well."

The smaller man winked. "If you have the gall to come begging back to a wronged one, then you're an ally in our book. But Alucard will not forgive you so easily. I suggest that you let Sir Integra soften him up, then try again."

"How will she -?"

"She has more power over him than just the average 'master and servant' advantage."

OOOOO

_Today is Radu's birthday. He is one. And his brother Mircea has just been buried alive. _

_He and Vlad picture this; as the Dracula's political enemies hold him down and blind him with hot iron pokers; they ignore his guttural screams of pain. Their father is silent as he hears the news._

_The messenger tells them of how they threw him into a hole and buried him until he stopped screaming. The former ruler of Wallachia is dead. The news is also broken to the country by means of fast traveling rumors – the oldest Dracula son is dead. Vlad does not care as much as everyone else; the news from his father is much worse. _

_His father was negotiating with the Ottomans. There was talk of royal captives, and that made his stomach churn. His father cradles his tiny eleven year old body as Radu looks on from his - not - mother's arms. Vlad puts his cheek on his father's chest and smells powder from cannons. This is his most memorable moment, and it replaces the homey smell most children have. His look is sour._

_Vlad hates his brothers, his father, and his not mother. He loathes his family_.

OOOOO

"_Mmmh, Master,"_ Alucard's head was spinning, and the entire world was one heave away from capsizing into a sea of the most _delicious_ smell he had ever had the pleasure to come upon. What was this smell? Why, a scent of perfume that Integra had gotten when she had been twelve and still feminine, then never used once all the girlishness had been squished from her by the Convention.

Integra smirked secretly to herself before donning a serious face for Alucard. The only way to calm a polygamist vampire was to act like a _bride_. Oh, God, save her overworked soul. She shoved the perfume flask into a hollowed-out book that was kept on her desk along with four others, tucked safely between two bookends. "Don't tell anyone what's in this book, or I'll kill you -." She pointed to the innocent looking bible next to the perfume-case. " – With what's in _that_ book."

"You keep your gun in a hollow bible?"

"You'd be amazed by how many people are skittish of touching someone else's bible." Integra said. "Especially the _Vatican_."

"Indeed," Alucard strode over to the bible, and reached to open it, only to find his hand erupting in burning pain, as if he had stuck it in the borders of a fire. "Silver?" Holy objects did not give him pain, but silver did.

"Some of the pages are made of silver foil." Integra lit a cigar, and Alucard found himself secretly swooning in the strong smell of violets and smoke. It was _wonderful_. To keep himself from salivating too much, Alucard swallowed his own tongue temporarily.

"Did you…" Alucard's voice tried to work its way around the tongue lodged in his throat, but failed miserably. He coughed once and tried speaking with his mind. "_Did you get word of a new mission?"_

Greatly amused, Integra couldn't stifle her snickering. She crossed her legs and hid it with another 'swig' of her cigar. What was the best way to stop a vampire from acting like a stuck up five year old? Why, let him have a go at your neck, of course. The best way to a Nosferatu's heart _was_ through his stomach. Integra swallowed her pride and undid a few buttons on her blouse and exposed more of her throat. The effect on Alucard was instantaneous and amusing.

He coughed up his own tongue, chewing on it as he stared directly at a pulsing vein just under the skin. _His Master…his Master…no, she was his Master. Much too young_. _BAH_, he'd said that to himself for years…

Alucard slinked up, getting close enough for Integra to smell his rancid breath. She resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose and craned her neck to the side, letting him have a better angle at her throat. Alucard gave a small cry of joy and began to sniff her skin eagerly; it was as far as she ever let him go. He was extraordinarily jealous of his fledgling, who had no idea what she had been given that _one_ time. Integra was grinning so wide that she was sure each side of her mouth was touching an ear.

When Alucard went too far and stuck out his tongue to lick her throat, Integra grabbed his nose like a dog's and pinched it until he whined in submission, shaking his head when she finally let go.

"Forgive me," Alucard bowed, still licking his chops from her very smell.

"Are you going to act civilly now, or do I have to let you nibble a bit more?" Integra stood akimbo, glaring at him.

"What?" Alucard clicked his tongue once more, still tasting her like the snake he was.

"Are you going to listen to Radu's pleas?" Integra realized her plan was half-assed and underdeveloped. Damn; well, in her defense, she hadn't used it since she was eighteen.

"_No!_" Alucard looked disgusted, and sniffled, as if to rid his nose of her smell. "I will not forgive him! He killed my wife! She stole my throne! He destroyed my people!"

Integra growled in rage, and slapped him. Alucard sighed, turned his head back to its normal position, and tried to dodge a flying silver ashtray that was aimed for his skull. He had to go down on his belly and slither from the room out from under the crack between the door and the floor as a pile of black, evil-as-hell dust.

"_Master…_" He whined, nudging the outside of the door. He knelt before it, putting his cheek to the cool wood. "_Master?_" From deep within his throat, a wolf howled in mourning from a serious loss of pride. "_Dammit_…"

"How did you have _so many_ brides?" A snide voice said, accompanied by the tapping of snide shoes. "Your romantic skills aren't worth a dime."

"You're getting too cocky for my liking," Alucard snapped at Walter, who was busy working through another box of stale coffin nails. The old smell was nice, but irritating.

"Because we _all_ know that only you can have the ego." Walter said, smirking. He faltered slightly when Alucard continued to give him a cold glare. "Oh come on, I'm only playing with you."

"I liked you better when you were old and serious."

"Maybe if you forgave Radu… -."

"_SHUT UP!_" Dissolving rapidly, a flurry of bats flew at Walter, making him yelp and flop down on his stomach as a select few got caught in his hair. They screeched at him. "_Don't you tell me what to do, you little twit!"_

Walter whimpered and just took it like a man.

OOOOO

"_No_,"

"But maybe if I -."

"_No_."

"What if -."

"_No-o."_

"Could I -?"

"_Could you just __**shut up!?**_" Alucard bristled, growling in fury as Radu ceaselessly bludgeoned him with pleads. He rolled onto his side and faced the warm heat of the fire, his black fur blowing back as he crooned in happiness. No one would spoil his evening, not even his bastard brother.

Sometimes, when he was exceptionally good, Integra let him lounge in her bedroom, and warm his cold skin by the mantle she always kept lit in there. When Radu went to try again, he found that Alucard morphed _slowly_, and very _graphically_. His spine would elongate and crack like a travel toothbrush. He would groan as his hands grew, fur erupting on the top as leathery pads formed on the bottom. A rough, thin tongue lolled from his mouth as he curled in a ball from the delicious pain, and enjoyed himself.

Radu was almost sick.

Alucard stretched a hind leg and wagged his tail weakly as Integra entered the room, fresh from a shower with her modest flannel pajamas and steam still rolling off her. He very nearly tackled her to the ground and turned her – but that wouldn't be gentlemanly, and he was _all_ about that. Instead he barked in approval, making her bean him with one of the three throw pillows she kept on her bed as she tossed the rest off.

"Did you need anything?" She asked Radu as he was caught staring at her (practically with his tongue hanging out) as she used a commercial green elastic band to put her long hair into a formal bun.

"Oh," Radu bit his tongue hard to shove him back into reality. "I was wondering if I could acquire more blood."

Integra raised an eyebrow. "Of course. I'll get Walter." She walked out of the room, Radu following.

It only took Alucard five minutes to realize she was taking too long. He heaved himself off the floor with a dog-groan, and trotted for the door, nosing it open. He growled when he saw how close Radu was to his Master.

OOOOO

Radu crept along behind Integra, just close enough to smell her soap and shampoo. He closed his eyes in relaxation and wondered how his brother had all the luck.

"Would you mind if I made you tea again?"

OOOOO

Kana: O.o Did I mention that this might be a very short story? Kind of like _Fortune_, but with less dying.

I've found a very many nicknames for Alucard's very many forms: Girlycard, Bondage-card, Vladi-card…etcetera. They amuse me with their un-creativeness.

Review Responses: A big thank you to all who reviewed, but some are just too short for me to respond to with my limited time (I seriously have five minutes to do this and get to the bus).

Cannot fathom a PenName: Hun, I upload at a wide variety of hours. The late/earliness of them depends on when or if I sleep that night, which depends on A) If I napped a little after school, B) if I'm chatting with the Major (not _that_ Major. He's must sweeter, and less sociopath. But he had a hat that looks like a Nazi hat), or C) if I'm playing WoW (I have a little 'job' of running instances with newbies and teaching them how to effectively PWN Alliance). And YAYZ, more peeps like this. Seven reviews, SEVEN (Ish happy as a clam).

Master of the Boot: Ah-ah, Ferris is the writing goddess of Yugioh, not Hellsing ('Tis a sad thing). Indeed, Alucard can hold one hell of a grudge, and now, jealousy will come into play.

VampireEgyptian: Good news! A combination of Vault, Ferris, and good stories from good authors who no longer write got me up and moving again (plus, Bakura felt all sad, and when that happens, his hair gets sad. - Bakura: (is sad and has Alucard sitting on him) T-T) By all means, save that poor child and his evil mother (who doesn't like ACDC? Do I know someone who doesn't like ACDC? OMG, do I know anyone who doesn't like rock? (Bloodcurdling scream)) I _hates_ peoples like that, tell her god said so. X3

End Responses

I was only able to answer three out of seven, since they were the longest. But now I only have two minutes, and _really_ need to update and go (sigh) what I do for reviews.

Review please!


	5. The Future is Bleak

Kana: I'm sorry Vampire…I just…can't get past that damn first page – BLAH. If anything, a Ferris update only made me want to write Hellsing (How can it not? The only thing I think of when I think of Ferris is Minkah, which leads to guns, to the Jackal, then to Alucard, then to Hellsing. DAMMIT)

(I wrote this chapter as I played World of Warcraft…_ZOMG, FEL REAVERS! THREE FNUCKING FEL REAVERS! RUN! GAH! (Dead))_

**Disclaimer:** The day I own Hellsing is the day I don't think about strangling 4kids.

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Five: The Future is Bleak**

OOOOO

_I love you._

Alucard furrowed his brow

_BAH! You can't love! _

_They laugh at him_.

_Yes I can…I can love…I can love_. Alucard bites his lip in his sleep and blood runs from the torn skin. It drips onto his waistcoat. _I can love!_

_You can't love, Dracula! You're heartless, and you can only lust. You're heartless and you create the heartless to fawn over you._

_I can love!_ He makes a tiny yip sound and turns in his chair, making the hard wood gouge into his back and sides.

_Numerous professors have read about you and said you're nothing but a psych with unfathomable evil inside it. You turn to dust and nobody cares!_

He sobs and never realizes it. Alucard angrily thrashes about.

_Somebody cares._

OOOOO

Alucard flapped after Integra as she walked along the cobblestone sidewalk, getting more than more than a few looks; double the amount of weird stares. He was disguised as a very, very large flying fox, with Seras following behind him like a forlorn puppy.

"_Master_," She whined, shying away from a person who was intent on staring at her until she imploded. It was dusk, and she felt quite ill, but Alucard seemed intent on making her suffer. He seemed dead set on making _everyone_ – except Integra, of course – suffer.

The bat snarled silently at her, then took his place hanging off Integra's pantsuit coat, his sharp little nails on his small paws clinging to the fabric on her shoulder. He nuzzled his bony cheek on her neck, and watched with greedy interest as he took off the glove on her right hand and pricked her finger with a pocketknife. Then, in the sight of a massive amount of London's population, she allowed him to lick the droplets away from her finger. Seras makes a face, but Radu chuckles.

"When you're finished, get off me," Integra said in her _loving_ tone. Alucard, looking satisfied – if not a bit dejected – fluttered off her, hid inside and ally, and, after a joyous rendition of bones and gristle cracking, returned adjusting his hat.

"I can never have any fun," he complained.

"So is the life of slavery." Integra snaps back, placing her glove back on once the bleeding stopped.

The troupe was out in London for a reason. Integra wanted to walk, so obviously Alucard volunteered to 'guard' her, which caused Radu to come, and in turn Seras came since her master gave her a _really_ dirty look that said 'if you leave me alone with him, I _will_ put Tabasco sauce in your share of the blood bags.' It helped that he told her the same threat through their servant/master bond. So Integra got her fresh air, Seras got to be berated with taunts from Pip, and Alucard got a lot of pleading stares from Radu, who only got dirty glares.

"Stop conversing with the stray mortals." Alucard grumbled as Radu hesitated to browse through a street vendor's selection of trinkets. The Nosferatu took off his coat and slapped Radu across the head with it, making an audible _snap!_ The younger vampire whined and followed suit. "It's not good for you." He shrugged the coat back on without so much as a falter in his pace.

"How is it not good for him?" Integra asked, slightly amused.

"We don't know where they've been."

"Lovely."

OOOOO

"Master -."

"No."

"But Master -."

"_No_."

"Please -."

"_NO!_" Integra finally snapped, a vein throbbing in her temple. "You cannot accompany me, _Servant_."

"You could be harmed." Alucard said, tapping a shoe.

"In the _privy_?" Integra said in exasperation. Even Walter had to shake his head at the extreme paranoia, and he was ten feet away, in front of the quaint restraint, blowing cigarette smoke to the wind. Seras fidgeted next to him, not wanting to get caught up in the argument that had gone on for at least three minutes, and had gathered a not-so-subtle staring audience.

Alucard blinked. "Yes."

Integra rolled her eyes one last time and stopped being a reasonable master. "You stay here, or I'm shipping you to Cairo to _cook_." And with a twirl, she left, swerving through the gently crammed tables as gallantly as if she was going to dine with the Queen, and not to the loo.

And he was left with Radu, whose face suddenly broke out into a smile. A smile that was _not_ one Alucard had seen on his brother's face since…

Since…

OOOOO

Integra idly picked lint off her navy pantsuit coat as she leaned against a white wall. The Italian style floor was done up in small octagonal black and white tiles in patterns known by most pizza parlors, and gave the woman's bathroom a homey feel. But she was restless.

Making sure no one else was in, Integra took out a small cigar and lit it. She puffed hard, and blew the smoke in different directions, waving it around with her hand to dispel the horrid smell.

_Just long enough to calm my nerves, just long enough…_ She kept telling herself, but soon one cigar led to two, and then four, until she had snuffed out a total of seven stubs in a small puddle of water in the marble basin sink.

But why did she feel so jittery? The only time she felt like this was when her senses were giving her signals of a close danger. And the whole time Radu had been here she had felt this way.

She couldn't be in danger. It was probably just her body getting used to having a third vampire around.

Integra tried to deceive herself into believing so, but the feeling persevered, and kept her occupied long enough for the world to shift.

OOOOO

Seras bit her lip as she and Walter stared down the dark hallway in the back of the restaurant. Where had her master gone?

_Girly, you should really keep a better eye on your daddy._ Pip commented snidely, making her grumble. She did _not_ think of her master that way…did she? The mantra of _please smile, please smile, please smile, smile dammit_, played back to her, and it made Seras wince visibly.

The hallway behind the kitchens was dark and dingy, with a nasty damp smell and a claustrophobic feeling that would drive any nut wild. The sounds of dime-horror movies flowed through the walls; the scratching of the nails of rats, the raking of knobby branches, tinny voices that came from the dining hall but were morphed after traveling the distance.

Why had Radu gone down here? And why had her master followed? Seras furrowed her brow.

"Try and see if you can smell them." Walter suggested, making Seras sniff at the walls, obviously feeling degraded. "I'd do it myself, but all I smell is musk."

They found Alucard and Radu in a closed-off, cloak-and-dagger type of room in the back of the restaurant. Radu was grinning and holding out a piece of parchment and a quill that looked like it was about to disintegrate.

Seras's heart nearly exploded as she caught a glimpse of the paper. _It was a contract_.

_The following is an agreement between Radu cel Frumos, and Count Vlad Dracula. _

_In exchange for the safety of Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, Count Vlad Dracula agrees to: (1) Allow Radu cel Frumos to drink his blood and obtain ownership of his souls (see below); (2) never pursue Radu cel Frumos; (3) never try to gain control of his souls once his blood has been drank; (4) relinquish his vampirism so he may never try to break (2) and/or (3). _

_In exchange for the control of Count Vlad Dracula's souls, Radu cel Frumos agrees to: (1) ensure the safety of Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing; (2) ensure the safety of the Hellsing Organization once he has departed; (3) none; (4) none. _

Walter had to squint to see the contract in the distance, but when he finally finished reading, he had to bite his cheek to keep himself from making a noise of surprise. He tapped the back of Seras's hand, which meant 'we need to leave'.

The last thing Seras saw was her master signing the contract with his flourishing signature. She heard a deep rumbling, as if the very Earth was waking to see the event.

OOOOO

"Alucard?" Integra had ash stains on her pants and shoes as she emerged from the bathroom. She was shaking uncontrollably, and she was ashamed to admit that her heart was hammering in her chest. "Radu? Walter? Seras?"

"Sir Integra!" Seras wailed, bursting from a part of the kitchens. "Sir Integra!" Walter was currently hanging off her, trying to cover her mouth with his hand. "_HMMMPH!_"

"Master Alucard is in danger!" Walter yelped as Seras began to buck, trying to get him off. "Please Miss Victoria, let Sir Integra handle it!"

Seras froze, letting Walter dismount easily, but not without taking a boot to his shine. "Don't tell me that I can't help my Master after he has done so much for me!" She cried angrily. "I want to help him!"

"What is happening!?" Integra cut in, seething beyond rage.

"Radu turned on us," Walter said calmly, fingering the hem of his white shirt sleeve. "He betrayed Alucard again."

Integra's stomach blew out and crumbled into her shoes. That was were her feeling was coming from, why he had felt so odd while Radu was around. He was still a hostile vampire; a greedy, backstabbing hostile vampire.

"Return to the estate," She instructed, glaring down at them. "Take the original three Geese and prepare the others for the worst possible situation."

"But Sir -." Walter tried to speak, but he had a cold glare fixated at him. "Yes Sir."

With the mass fumbling of two lanky teenagers, Walter and Seras ran from the room and down the street with the speed of an Olympic runner. Integra bit her lip as the ground shook with a deep roar, making plates in the kitchen fall and shatter. England did not have earthquakes.

A mournful howling broke out as Integra steadily forced herself to make her way to where Seras and Walter had come from, and she saw a slight illumination at the end of the hallway. The shaking got worse as she walked down the hallway, and she refused to believe the two vampires were causing it.

But her hopes were in vain. As soon as Integra nudged open the rotting door (which was made easier by the terrible shaking), her heart skipped.

Alucard groaned, his body limp as his eyes tried not to roll back into his head. Radu's face was hidden in his brother's neck, a rivulet of warm blood running down the corner of his mouth that she could see. The rumbling was caused by the thousands of souls that poured from what seemed to be the soles of Alucard's shoes, into the soles of Radu's.

_What is he exchanging them for?_ Integra wondered, peering closer despite her instincts telling her to run.

It seemed to take forever for Radu to finish, and he dropped the brother he'd been so eager to be close to unceremoniously, making Alucard bang his head on the floor with a sharp _crack_. But the Nosferatu didn't even notice, for he was out cold, his face pale and shallow. Radu wiped his mouth and tucked a piece of parchment into the pocket of his charcoal frock coat. Then he left by phasing through the walls, something only Alucard had been able to do; it had been a trait shared by no one else.

"Alucard!" Integra whispered, kneeling down next to him as all hell broke loose inside and outside. She heard people crying about earthquakes and gas mains, but none of it mattered to her. It took all of her strength to lift Alucard under his arms, half-dragging him down the hall and outside, where an Organization car obviously sent by Walter was waiting.

She hauled Alucard's motionless frame into the backseat and sent the driver off, cradling his body in her lap. He was old and frail, the age of his body toed the lines of her father's. He was no longer immortal, no longer a powerful Nosferatu; he was a broken king returning to his former body.

And Integra could tell he was dying. Quickly.

"Walter!" She shrieked as soon as she got out of the car. The poor driver was in hysterics, frantically trying to dial the number of the estates medic. "_Walter!_" Her voice cracked as the boy scurried from where he and Seras had been watching from inside the house. It took them almost a full _minute_ to make it to where she was trying to drag Alucard on the rough gravel of the long driveway, and Integra was _not_ pleased about that.

In fact, for the first time in years, she was near tears.

OOOOO

Kana: (is dead from exhaustion) I know it's illegal for a minor to take sleeping pills, but _damn_, I'm ready to try a horse tranquilizer.

Review Responses: (sniffle) No one loves me…

Lara: You are damn awesome! Review again? Please? Maybe? No I suck? Okay.

Cannot fathom a PenName: You hear that Radu, you're a male bitch! (kicks him) No one likes you! (kicks him again) You're so ugly your momma fed you with a slingshot! (kicks) BAH! Anywhoosle, stop reading before school (I keep updating in the early morn so I only have ten minutes to take a shower and do shit O.o) I blame my addiction to World of Warcraft. I freaking love the name Vladi-card (they added the extra 'I' for effect).

Lord Makura: I seriously doubt that now. Alucard was the only smart one.

VampireEgyptian: At least Ferris finally got me back into YGO DAYDREAMING (close enough, right?). And 'sides, Alucard shall never beat Baku in the category of shirtless-ness (cause damn, Alucard's just to…pale (shivers)) Save the poor baby, will you? And I think the Girlycard and Young Walter is SO much better. What convention are you going to? Cause there's one near me coming up in March. Young Walter is the BOMB; he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks!

Dark lady: Vlad I? Nah, hun, Dracula was Vlad III. Anywhoosle, Alucard holds grudges – cause he's just that kind of stubborn ass. X3

End Responses

Please review…please? Pretty please with sleep on top? I stayed away past two so I could finish this…


	6. Senile

Kana: This chapter was written while my mouth was full of a cheese sandwich as I try to work a _horrid_ kink out of my neck that makes it feel like my brain stem is snapping in half. And _boy_, it's a good sandwich.

**Disclaimer:** I'll own Hellsing when I earn an A in my honors English.

Today in creative writing I had to taker my favorite literary character (Dracula) and put him into a modern day situation. I said he'd probably be on the show _Cops_, wearing nothing but a wife-beater and cut-off jeans, getting shoved into the ground by a Miami cop, screaming '_the baby ain't mine!_'

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Six: Senile**

OOOOO

_Not happening, not happening, not happening…_

Integra paced like there was no tomorrow, her shoes making a dull _thunk_ing on the tile floor that would haunt her for years to come. She hated all the white. Why did clinics have to be white? She made a promise to herself that once she had the time, she was going to change the color of the estate clinic to a more appealing one, like a pastel…maybe purple.

For the first time in years Integra shook, she chewed her nails, she fiddled with her hair and spun the platinum locks between her fingers, which had held a great many number of cigars. The only reason she did not smoke them now, in the tiny waiting room, was because it was unsanitary, and because Alucard was right beyond the door, and she did not want a trail of smoke to find its way through the cracks in the walls, into his room…

She chewed her lip and looked at the ceiling. Integra's hands found their way to her silver cross pined to her cravat, and clutched at it defensively.

This was the one reason why she preferred sending her vampire soldiers into battle. There was no wait in a blindingly white hospital, no sound of beeping appliances, so sterile stench of IV's or antibacterial. Either the vampire came back alive, or stayed there dead. No wait.

_It reminded her of her father's death. _

The annoyingly red light that had flooded the emergency room sign for the past hour suddenly flicked off, which meant either A) Alucard was stable, or B) Alucard was dead. The next five seconds made Integra's chest ache, for she didn't know which had happened, but soon the medic decided to grace her with his presence.

"Master Alucard sustained minor injuries from the incident -," _Ah_, Integra loved her medic and had hired him for this reason and this reason only; he did not bored her with the details, he just got right to the point. "Which consisted of a slight skull fracture from his fall, a minor slashing of his throat that has been stitched and patched, and very minimal bruising."

Integra studied his face. "That's not all, is it?" She said with a bit of distain.

The doctor shook his head. "I'm just getting started." He adjusted his stance and cleared his throat. "It seems in his former, mortal life, Vlad Dracula was not the healthiest man. Years of overuse brought arthritis into his hands, and I took an MRI while diagnosing the fracture, and it seems he has the early onslaught of Alzheimer's." The poor doctor looked like he'd just shot the Queen by telling her this.

"Where is he now?" Integra asked, her toes curling in her shoes. No, this wasn't happening; this was _Alucard_, he did not get sick, he did not have mentally disabling disorders like normal people, and when he got hurt, he enjoyed it.

The medic smiled gently. "He's awake and alert in his room. When I told him of his condition, he put a pillow over his face and swore at me."

This made Integra's mood lighten slightly, but her stomach still dropped when she saw Alucard. He did indeed have a pillow over his face, but it only lightened the mood slightly, as he still had machines hooked up to him.

Integra experimented and nudged the side of his bed slightly with her hip, making the frame shake gently. He grunted as politely as he could, his fingers twitching. She couldn't help but notice that the medic had taken off his gloves – something that would have been physically impossible if he wasn't truly mortal.

"Are you awake?" She asked, tapping her foot.

"Maybe," Alucard grumbled, sounding like he'd rather shoot himself in the face than be alive. "And if I choose to be awake, will you take that infuriating thing from my hand?"

"What thing – oh." Integra saw the offending object: the IV. It was currently stuck in a long vein in Alucard's left hand, obviously uncomfortable considering its size. "I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

"You'll be in pain if I do." Integra carefully removed the pillow, already fearing that it would obstruct his breathing, and did a slight double-take. " – oh…" _Oh __**again**_.

Alucard's eyes were _green_.

"What," Alucard's hands fumbled over his face, feeling every feature to make sure he hadn't lost the skin on his nose or something. All he felt was a bandage wrapped about his scalp and a very unkempt moustache. "What?" He repeated worriedly.

"Nothing," Integra regained her posture and focused more on the good, than the bad. Sure, she did not know how to solve the problems, but everyone was healthy and…alive. So instead of worrying at the present moment, she did what had been irking her since she was a child –

Integra reached out and felt his face, fingering his hairline and moustache, feeling the now wavy black hair that reached to his waist, the strands snarled with knots, some of significant size.

"You should get cleaned up."

OOOOO

By the time the doctor had declared Alucard fit to leave, both Seras and Walter had been informed of his condition, and had been given enough time to have a good guffaw about it as well. Even after three days, Pip still broke out into mini giggling fits at random.

"Wow, I was released to be moved from a bed…into a completely _new_ bed." Alucard growled with fake awe.

"You will be allowed to roam about tomorrow," Integra snapped back, gesturing to the clock on the bedside table. "Right now it's nearly midnight, and mortals sleep now." The reason it was so late was because Alucard was incredibly skittish of 'the dodgy shower', and she had to nearly go in there with him.

Making a noise that sounded faintly like '_harrumph_', Alucard picked incessantly at the pajamas Integra had fished from the boxes of her father's old things. He did not like flannel, and he certainly did not like the fact that the cloth hung loose, meaning Arthur had been bulkier than him, even in the last years of his life. When he had been infected by a malignant illness…and terribly emaciated…

_God dammit_.

"Stop pouting like a child," Integra said as calmly as she could. If anything could be said about Alucard now, it was that he had at least kept his…_wonderful_ personality. "Now _sleep_; I'll check on you in the morning and have Walter bring up some clothes for you."

"Bah," Alucard pulled the quilt over his head. It had taken Integra at least an hour to convince him that the quest room bed was just as warm and comfortable as his coffin, which he still wished to sleep in. Only after she lighted the pellet stove at the other end of the room did he finally settle down. Integra had a sinking feeling that he still wanted to protest, but he was exhausted. The black circles under his eyes made that clear.

"Good night then," Integra flipped off the lights as she left the room, and snuck one last glance at him. The only thing still visible of Alucard was his slightly damp, wavy hair, which stuck out of a burrow of sheets and blankets. He did not like sleeping exposed, and more than once the medic had called her to try and get him to stop, fearing he would suffocate in his sleep. His bare foot stuck out near the end of the bed, and, as she watched, slowly receded into the confines of the warm sheets.

Integra almost smiled. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

OOOOO

At about two in the morning, Alucard finally kicked off the annoying blankets and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and blinked, trying to moisten them. He felt disgusting, and after three days, he couldn't get used to being _human_. Everything ached and itched and throbbed and felt _wet_. Fir the first time in centuries he sweat, and it felt odd if not uncomfortable.

But there was one thing that had been irking him the most, it was hunger. It seemed like he was hungry every half hour, the ceaseless ache in his stomach prodding him along.

Alucard turned a sour face towards the cloak Walter had given him. _"Just in case you get up and want to walk around; it'd be a shame if you caught the common cold and __**died**__, old man_."

"I will not get cold," Were the words that he ate as soon as his feet touched the floor. Even through the plush carpet, Alucard could feel the frigid stone underneath. It nearly made him gasp. _Why hadn't he noticed the cold before? Surely Integra wore socks to bed for a reason…_

"I…_do not_ get cold," Alucard growled again, slinking from the room. The floors creaked terribly, and he knew Integra would go for her gun if she heard even the slightest hint of intrusion. He did not want to test her in this state.

But by the time Alucard made it to the kitchens, his feet were numb and he was shivering, wishing he had the sense to bring the cloak along. He trudged on, shuffling in a most _elderly_ manner as he tried to curl in on himself. He cursed himself for his stubbornness.

A welcome sight met him at the cavernous kitchens. On the granite counter was a small plate of mince pies, and a note that read: _A spare cloak is on the chair closest to the fridge, and a pair of slippers are under it. There's warm brandy somewhere around here, but I don't know how hot it will be when you come down. Seras will be out and about until sunrise, so if anything else occurs, ask her. If you wake me up I will throttle you, old man. _

_- Walter_

"I am _not_ old," Alucard growled, crumpling the note and tossing it over his shoulder. He then set to work on the small mince pies, glad that they had been kept hot by the warmth given off by the wood stove on which they rested. He found the brandy nearby, and only had to rummage through the cabinets for a moment to find a square glass.

For the first time in centuries, Alucard enjoyed the sweet, warm taste of brandy and mince pie, but he couldn't help but feel something was missing.

And in a dark corner, far from where Alucard's now muffled senses could detect her, Seras peered at him. Walter and Sir Integra had told her to keep an eye on her Master, even if it meant spying on him in case he did something that would endanger his health. Plus…now that he was in the comforting form Seras remembered, there might be a chance of a smile.

The sudden movement startled Seras, almost making her cry out. Instead she bit her gloved finger and watched Alucard rub stray bandy from his dark moustache off on his bare hands, and then begin roaming the kitchen, his eyes straining to see in the dim light the moon gave from the large bay windows.

She knew what he was going for. A small, enclosed, cooled pantry in the very back of a hallway that originated from the kitchens that held the donated blood. _Master, don't…_she couldn't stop him without him knowing that she had been spying on him for the past hour.

_What could a bit of blood do to him, Girly? _Pip asked, giving her mind a curious prod.

_It could make him physically ill; he'll vomit…_

_That which does not kill you…_

_Don't __**you**__ start reciting that to me._

Seras bit her lip as she watched her master dig out a smallish bag of blood, tearing away the corner instead of drinking from the straw. Alucard tentatively tested the blood before eagerly tipping his head back, draining the bag dry before wiping his mouth again. Then, as if he had done nothing out of the ordinary, he got up and left.

Seras followed.

OOOOO

The dungeons were colder than Alucard remembered, but another swig from the warm brandy kept the blood flowing swiftly through his veins. He carried the flask around with him, keeping it securely nestled between his hand and chest. The cloak that had indeed been on the kitchen chair closest to the fridge was wrapped around him, but the slippers had been disregarded. He was _not_ old.

When his right hand began to ache from holding the flagon, Alucard grumbled and shifted it to his left. He stared at his right hand, standing on the cold flagstones of the cellar, and _frowned_. Beneath skin that was thinner than it should be, lay veins that seemed more pronounced than he remembered. Then again, what did he remember after so many decades? As the doctor said…_Alzheimer's_.

_They have too many names for things these days_, Alucard thought, moving his right hand around and continuing to examine it. He noticed that it hurt terribly if he moved it too long, as if he was still in the midst of war, maneuvering his sword. He _frowned _again, took another large swig of brandy, and began to walk again.

And as he thought, Alucard felt increasingly more ridiculous.

"_I'll kill her; I'll kill her and watch just as I did when your wife jumped from that tower. I could have saved her, you know. But I __**didn't**__, because it was so much more satisfying to see your face when I told you of her death._"

"That bastard!" Alucard suddenly screamed, ramming his right fist into the nearest wall (and making a very near Seras jump and nearly topple over). Instead of it crumbling like it would have just days ago, his hand erupted into agony, sending splashes of color across his vision. "_Dammit!_" He shrieked.

Seras muffled her cry of 'Master!' by shoving her face into her arm. She did _not_ want Alucard knowing that she was following him. Instead she let him curse in peace, watching as he shook his aching hand until the blinding pain stopped.

Almost as if Alucard never remembered being angry, he took another drink and trudged on, albeit with a much more 'stomping' air about him.

At about three thirty AM, Alucard made it to his room. _His _room. Everything was as it had been when he left it three days ago, with his coffin still half-open and so very inviting…

With a heavy sigh, Alucard climbed into his coffin with only a slight amount of difficulty. The Earth was still soft but cold, but another drink of brandy cured that. He smiled as the smell of the dirt enveloped him while he closed the lid. The blood still churned in his stomach, and for one moment, he felt himself again.

OOOOO

Kana: My, my, Alu's got a bit of an age complex, doesn't he?

Alucard: I am _not_ old.

Kana: If my friend is correct, you _are_. Unless, in the vampire world, five hundred is young and _strapping_.

Review Responses:

dark night: Ah yes, the first raging review towards Radu. Here sweetie (Hands you mallet) have tons of fun. Course Alucard can love; why else would he have three brides? Unless he was compensating for something; or maybe that's why he wears that ridiculously big fedora…yeah…

Cannot fathom a PenName: O.o But…I like my eyes…but hey, if you gouge them out, then I can go all Illidan on peeps asses and wear a piece of cloth over the sockets and run around crashing into walls and such. Honey, please try to read this AFTER school, or at least when you have enough time, k? K. Hmm…(dons strip pf cloth over eyes and runs into a horde of WoW fans, screaming 'Fathom is never prepared – for school!')

Master of the Boot: (bow-bow) I know, I rock, I know (grin) I rock my socks and I don't even wear socks. Alucard can't give an apology; he can give gifts though. That is why Integra finds bleached spinal columns and such on her bed when its her birthday. Bad fan fiction! Fix your kinks!

VampireEgyptian: Ha! My convention is sooner than yours! And I'm cosplaying as Illidan the Betrayer! (Dances) Fear me and my genderbending; I got the blue hair dye and other spiffiness all ready to go. Who said Hellsing had to be angsty? I'm currently writing a FEW funny ones…and then a YGO one titled 'The Gay Science.' (which actually got its title from a Hellsing related thing, but I'm WORKING on it).

New Lord of Darkness: Why, Radu has his arm up his sleeve! X3

Lord Makura: (Alucard: (sniffle) Nobody listens to me!)

End Responses

Review Pretty please (avoids History homework due in two days with another _sashay_)


	7. Blood of My Blood

Kana: (dances) I am PWNSOME, fear my power of awesomeness! I'm gonna play around with Alucard for a while before introducing the bad guy (who has already been introduced, and his name rhymes with 'Ragu').

That is my logic, fear it…FEAR it

**Disclaimer: **All I own is a crap load of books and a bunch of figments of my imagination. (Alucard: I am _not_ a figment of _anyone's_ imagination…)(Illidan: I'm a figment of the giant purple people eater's imagination X3)

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Seven: Blood of my Blood**

OOOOO

Integra had awakened in a pleasant mood. It wasn't as cold as it usually was in the morning, and when she finally crawled to her desk, there wasn't a waiting mountain of deaths caused by rogue vampires.

Actually…there hadn't been _any_ deaths caused by rogue vampires…

Even this didn't bother her. All she cared about was that she had gotten more than three hours of sleep and that she didn't have to call people to tell them that their loved ones would never come home. _Perhaps this is not so bad,_ Integra thought again, her eyes trailing to Alucard's door.

Clothed in nothing but her night clothes and a robe, Integra debated on whether to not she should check on him. Surely he was still safe, still…alive. But when she opened the door, Integra was met with something that _shattered_ her good mood.

Alucard's bed was as empty as the former vampire's _head_!

She wanted to scream, letting her frustration out like steam from a teapot. But she didn't. Integra remained as cool and calm as she always was. Nothing would make her blow her top, especially not someone that had irked her terribly before.

But, unlike before, Integra _just_ couldn't stop the deafening screech from tearing from her lips.

"_Alucard! I'm going to cut off your hair and strangle you with it!"_

OOOOO

Inside the dungeons of the Hellsing mansion, there was a bathtub. It was a very old, but very clean, white porcelain bathtub, with bronze clawed feet that supported it, and a slightly rusted tap with two handles for hot and cold. It stood upon a floor of cold cement that cracked and twisted and swelled with age, and the small twenty-by-twenty room was all but bare, save for the tub and a metal bar on the wall for holding towels.

It was built in the nineteen thirties, when the age-old Abraham had become terribly senile and decided upon having a bathtub in the cellar. There was no reason, no motive behind it, but more than one person had made use of it before. The water was always hot, no matter how long the bath, and it seemed as if rust and mildew and other brown rot shied away from the perfect whiteness.

And right now, a certain Count was seeping himself into the scalding waters of it.

"I am not old," Alucard repeated once again, though the only reason for his sudden liking of such a warm bath was mostly because of the frigid state of the dungeons. "I am just cold. Even the strongest mortals get cold – I remember…"

He let his thick mane of wavy hair hang behind him, draped over the edge of the tub so none of it got wet. It was a pain to dry all of that hair, so much so that he wished he could manipulate the length like he used to be able to; or even cut it. But Alucard knew he could never cut his hair – so long after so many years of imprisonment with nothing more than the tiny slivers of wood he had ripped from wherever he could get his hands on for tools.

_His own guttural screams. Again they did it; again, again, again, again, again. Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! _

_Again! Again! Again! He could not stand it, he cried out his defiance, his bottom lip torn and crusted with blood. _

"_You are nothing," A dark voice stated. "You are nothing and nobody cares what happens to you, as long as they have a Voivode, the mice are content."_

"_My people will notice that I am gone," He growls as they do it again. _Crack_! The wheals on his back begin to bleed. _

"_They are satisfied with your brother," It hisses. _

"_They hate the Ottomans."_

"_And we hate you_."

"Alucard!" the sudden _slam_ of a door hitting a wall made Alucard blink twice, focusing back on reality. He sunk slightly in the water, so that only his head from his nose up was visible. His hair fell into the water, dragged down by gravity.

Integra saw Alucard's eyes dilate to fill his green irises in an unnatural way. Her anger suddenly ceased. And as her eyes caught his, she saw a look of serenity cross his features.

_He was so cold, and his Master so warm. Alucard swallowed his pride, shoving himself deeper into the recesses of Van Helsing's scorching hot skin, wedging between the couch arm and a body. A kind hand rubbed his head as if he were a dog. _

_He was a dog. _

_Blood and gore dripped from the ceiling. He stuck out his tongue to catch a falling drop. It was sweet; a delicacy among garbage. _

"_Let's get you fed, my dear Count."_

"_Alucard!_" the same hard, sharp voice made him come back once again. Alucard groaned and sank further beneath the water once he realized he was not alone. His wet moustache made his upper lip feel heavy.

"What?" he muttered, though all that came out was a bit of soggy bubbles due to his mouth being submerged.

"Are you so idiotic that you fall asleep in the bathtub?" Integra asked, though her gut was churning with revulsion at what she had just seen. She would have to make a mental note of it to ponder later.

"No, Master," Alucard said slyly, this time above the surface. His hair was wet and heavy, but floated around him like oil in the ocean. He noticed Integra's face suddenly heat up, no doubt realizing where she beheld him. "Do I arouse you, Master?" he grinned devilishly, sinking further into the water.

"In your dreams, you dirty old man." Integra retorted, though her face felt like it might explode.

"Did you not just say that I was falling asleep?" Alucard purred, taking a towel from its hanger and wrapping it around his waist so deftly that even Integra's sharp eyes couldn't pick anything up (_Thank God in Heaven_, she thought). But the thought that only a layer of white cotton protected her from _him_ was _not_ calming. "Perhaps I am still dreaming…" He stepped from the bath and closer to her. An inch at the bottom of his towel was wet from the bathwater.

"You are disgusting," Integra snapped, turning away from him. _I am not sharing the same room with a naked Alucard, I am not sharing the same room with a naked Alucard, I am not sharing the same room with a naked Alucard. He is fifty years old, he is fifty years old, he is my Servant, and I am the Master. He cannot do anything to me –_

That was when the fact that Alucard was no longer bound to the Hellsing family hit Integra head on. He _could_ do anything he wished to her…_anything_. Integra knew Alucard was a monster, but she had at least thought he had retained some of his kingly traits, even after his centuries as a vampire. It was blood that bound a vampire, and a vampire Alucard was no longer.

"_Never trust a vampire Integra, no matter how feeble they may seem. Always be on your guard."_ She was going against her father's very words. The words he said to her over and over, night after night, until the day he died. He had known she would come upon the Count one day, and he had wanted her to be prepared for anything he would pitch to her.

Integra doubted that even Abraham had accounted for an event such as this.

OOOOO

"_Alright my men! Arm yourselves; aim at the target, and fire!"_

An array of volleys suddenly lashed out and dismantled an unfortunate line of targets nearly one hundred years away. The two dozen Wild Geese reloaded their shotguns simultaneously, and aimed again as Seras rolled her eyes.

Oh the _drama_.

"Must you?" She asked, staring pointedly at the ghostly figure of Pip as he chewed on his equally fake cigarette. His fiery braid whipped in an unseen wind, and he stood proud and tall, as if he was really leading his men into battle, and not against an army of wooden cut-outs. It was _very_ melodramatic.

"_Yes_," He purred, taking the wildly animated braid and flipping it over his shoulder, so that it hung in front of him. "_Let me have a bit of fun, won't you?_"

Seras had to agree, it was much easier to get the Geese motivated when it was their old captain training with them. Sure, it was useless on the battle field, since Seras couldn't deter her concentration long enough to set him free, but at least they were well practiced.

Out in the sea of decapitated cut-outs, Walter whipped back and forth, cleaning away the debris and at the same time, replacing them with fresh ones. "I better be getting credit for this!" He yelled over to them, making many a Goose chuckle in amusement. Seras herself couldn't help but smile at the poor butler. He had taken to doing odd jobs to keep himself from being lethargic – like Alucard, who did relatively nothing on slow days and was still able to follow Integra's pace, which was proven to make seasoned soldiers huff and puff.

"_You'll get a cookie and milk, boy!"_ Pip shouted back, smirking as his Wild Geese erupted into mocking cackles.

Pip felt a very uncomfortable sensation near his midsection, and looked down to find a wire glinting innocently as it 'severed' him again and again. "_It's scary how you do that,"_ He commented.

"It's a shame you're already dead," Walter sniffed, dragging away a mutilated wooden cut-out that was shaped like a ghoul twice as big as he was.

"_It's a shame you're an oversized squeaky toy,"_ Pip drawled, raising his arm to alert the Geese to cock their weapons. "_Maybe Red Riding Hat can chew on you later_."

Seras winced at Pip's name for her Master. There were many: _Big, Tall, and Scary; The Jive Master; Jeeves; _and her personal favorite_, The Tepes Tap Dancer_.

"Shut him up, will you, Miss Victoria?" Walter said coolly, tightening the straps on his gloves. "I'm afraid I might just exorcize him."

Pip laughed at him, throwing his head back and roaring with it. But his joy was short-lived, as he suddenly found himself sucked back into Seras. "_Traitor! Traître!_"

"I'm sorry, Walter," Seras said, shaking her head to make sure he was in there good. "He's been so cooped up; I can't sleep with him rattling on and on."

_It is the thought that I can never taste your sweet lips again, Cherie, _Pip moaned. _Ah Fate, she is so cruel._

"Apparently, he's having a bad case of sexual withdrawal," Seras said, smirking.

_That is not what I said!_

"And he's trying to cover it up with fancy malarkey."

_You Brits, no respect for the beautiful language._

"And now he's insulting the British."

…_you are a clever little monster…_

Seras smiled in satisfaction as Pip faded into her mind, obviously going to recuperate. Then she raised her arm as he captain had done, and signaled for the Geese to aim for the cut-out's heads. Then she lowered the arm, and another round of bullets fired. Only half of them hit the targets, and only six out of that half struck a head.

She frowned. Their aim was terrible, and she doubted ghouls or vampires would stay still as the targets had. Fiddling with her glove, she sought out a way to improve their fire.

"May _I_ help with your cause, Police Girl?"

The all-too familiar bass drawl of her Master made Seras and the entire host of Wild Geese stiffen, their spines freezing as hers did.

Alucard had stood behind them, no doubt having been there for at least the entire Walter vs. Pip incident. His brilliant red coat was gone, replaced with a black cloak that hung off his shoulders, and although his ridiculous hat and glasses were gone as well, he still contained his chilling way of just _standing_ there, staring at them. Seras noted that his hair was wavy, and that his eyes were a deep bottle green. She was glad he had discarded his flamboyantly red clothing, for his eyes would have offset the entire affect. Though, she had to admit, they did suit him better now then his red ones, and his moustache made him look less…_creepy_.

"Master -?" Seras tried not to utter the word, but it slipped. Integra had warned her of doing so, and she was right; Alucard's reaction was instant and frightening.

For a moment there was silence, with the word _Master_ still hanging in the air like a suspended corpse. Seras visibly trembled as Alucard's eyes slowly narrowed, the pupils actually _shrinking_ in his hidden anger. The growing knot of worry in her stomach made her very fangs ache, as if Alucard was somehow channeling his rage into her.

Finally, he spoke with a serious, leveled voice. "I saw the pitiful way you were teaching your wildfowls how to aim, and I came to your aid."

"But…" Seras bit back the 'Master' that always waited on her tongue. "I thought…the third eye…you can't…" She tried to ignore Pip screaming '_WILD GEESE! Not WILDFOWL! What are we, ducks?!'._

This only made Alucard angrier, though he hid it well. "You do realize I led my own men into battle?"

"Yes, but -."

"That I was a _mortal_ soldier myself?"

"Yes, but it -."

"That I was the best battalion leader Wallachia has ever seen?" _Now_ his anger showed as Alucard's face slowly gained a red color, though his voice never rose.

"But hasn't it been so lo -?"

"I can instruct them!" Alucard suddenly whipped around to the Wild Geese, who were as terrified as they would be if he was still a full-fledged vampire, and sending his souls after them. "Now aim and shoot!"

With movements that were shaky and uncoordinated, all twenty-four Geese put up their shotguns and fired at the targets. A dust cloud formed, and Seras was sure she was going to see chaos when it cleared, but instead, she saw something else entirely.

_All _of the shots had struck a target, and nearly two thirds had hit the head. There were even a few targets knocked over from the force of the bullets hitting them.

"What…but…" She looked up at Alucard, whose face was calm, as it usually was. There was no hint of anger, just his usual subtle satisfaction and contentment. His hands were in his pockets, and he was absently chewing a corner of his bottom lip with one of his devilishly pointed eyeteeth (something that was _natural_).

"Shoot, don't think." Alucard said, smirking. "That is the key to hitting the target. If you concentrate too much, you grow nervous, and your hands shake."

He made a move to leave, but not before looking over his shoulder and saying to Seras: "And by the way, Police Girl, you address me as anything other than Master after this incident, and I'll lock you in your coffin until doomsday. Understood?"

Seras fought back her surge of glee. "Yes my Master!"

Alucard gave her a _smile_.

OOOOO

Kana: I enjoy writing scenes where Alu-chan (dodges bullets) fucks with the Geese. It's a pastime. Plus, I have a friend who's the BIGGEST fan of anything military, so I go by her advice (yup, a girl who has a hunting license and a fetish for tanks).

I don't really like that last _happy_ sentence, but I had already planned to give poor, degraded Seras at least ONE chance at happiness. Poor dear.

Review Responses:

Cannot fathom a PenName: (Gasp) I updated after school AGAIN (Alucard: O.o APOCALYPSE!) I would have updated last night, but I was close to finishing a long awaited book (God-DAMMIT, they killed off many of my favorite characters, and then a favorite character's PWNSOME daddy. DAMN them – no, it wasn't a HP book). And it would have done it RIGHT after school, but I had my Gay-Straight Alliance club after school (I'm part of the STRAIGHT people. Though most think I am gay…O.o Why?) I enjoy Young Walter too; I'm trying to make it seem that with his younger self, comes younger emotions – albeit very sophisticated younger emotions. Poor baby (pets Alucard's wavy hair…) all old with nothing to do (gets punched into next week – PS: next week has a forecast of rain)

Lord Makura: Indeed, Alucard's a cannibal now…but that's frowned upon in most cultures. But, as the saying goes, you are what you eat! Eat and person and be a person! RAWR, LOL.

Kantra: you open up a very interesting point that's been eating at me until now. I was kicking myself for not making this clear, but Radu didn't leave the 'kill me and save the day' option open for our dear Count. He had his own legion of souls (considerably smaller than Alu's) near Integra – which caused her _'weird, vampire senses'_ to tingle – ready to kill her if Alu refused. And, as we can all blatantly see, Alu LUVS his Integra – I think…maybe…I dunno. That's just my opinion of them (Since Alucard/Dracula has a terrible blue eyes-blond hair fetish, as seen in Lucy and Seras.) But thank you for the criticism, but don't worry, I'm not a TOTALLY oblivious gibbering moron when it comes to character personalities, no matter HOW fun it is to screw with them – in fact, just giving Alu Alzheimer's practically made my stomach churn.

Dark night: (Points at Ra_gu_)…(Radu bursts into flames and a chorus of 'Burn, Baby, Burn' erupts in the background, sung by the magical dancing purple cupcakes caused when Flamers blow up) BWAHAHA! People liked you at first, Radu, but now you are LOATHED! (Cackles in glee and stomps out the flames on his carcass) Don't feel bad for Alu-chan, okay? He's perfectly fine, even though he's a tad miserable about losing his godliness. But 'tis a petty need, and he is once again free to do as he pleases, though once again, it is diminished because of the loss of the godliness…

Master of the Boot: steer? I'm no castrated cow. Queer? I'm not gay, though I am eccentric. I guess I MIGHT be a fan fiction writer, seeing as I post…on fan fiction. (Shifty eyes…)…(runs away with Alucard's moustache)

VampireEgyptian: Illidan is part of my newest obsession – the books created from Warcraft lore. Seriously…go buy the War of the Ancients trilogy. Brilliant writing and fantasy, all that jazz. I do have a YGO fiction going, and another on the warpath in my mind – both yaoi, both Seth/Seto x Bakura/Thief King. (giggles at your papa) Is he still alright? Or is he dead? O.o you used 'had', so I'm worried. (breaks out own shotgun)

new lord of darkness: (Alucard: I like this one…can I keep it?) O.o he wants to keep you – probably in a jar, to admire…ick. But the Alu-getting-his-godliness-back is being debated.


	8. The Things We Do

Kana: (hangs upside-down from the ceiling) Zzzz…

Dracula: (looks up at her)?? Me thinks I am a bad influence…

**Disclaimer**: (throws dictionary at your face) what the hell do you think _fan_fiction means anyway!?

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Eight: The Things We Do…**

OOOOO

"Ow…ow…ow…ow…ow…_ow…ow…__**ow**__...__**OW**_!"

"Oh shut _up_," Integra snapped, jerking the sharp comb through Alucard's hair again, holding a snarled clump of the black mess in her left hand and trying to work out the knots with her right. "Act your age." She pulled again, wrenching his head back.

Alucard settled down, growling and clutching the edge of the stool he sat on, biting his tongue so hard that blood filled his mouth. He tapped the toe of his foot in a terrible rhythm that was bound to make Integra irritated.

"I can comb my own hair." He snapped. Much to Integra's amusement, she had figured out that when he got angry, his moustache would twitch as if it had a life of its own. She smiled and covered it with the comb before going back to work.

"Yes, but you don't do it well." She retorted, feeling a monster knot cave underneath the brush. Now, only…seventeen more knots to go, not to mention the fact that the _entire_ mane of hair was like a giant matted _thing_. "Now, _hush_,"

Integra took a handful of his hair and _yanked_ it back, pulling his head and exposing his throat. Alucard paled and shut his mouth, feeling terribly vulnerable with his neck out. She smirked and worked out another few knots in silence, keeping his head back to keep him quiet.

But after a moment, Alucard spoke up:

"Master…?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you let go of my hair? I'm beginning to get a case of vertigo from sitting like this."

"No." Integra used her fingers to untangle another snarl, and gave herself a satisfied grin before making the _great king_ yelp again as she pulled the comb through again.

And time went on.

OOOOO

Alucard slept in his coffin…and Integra let him – on one condition. He had to move it to his new bedroom, and place it in front of the fire, for extra warmth. He also had to remove most of the dirt, and replace it with something remotely soft, like pillows and such. He kept a _bit_ of the Earth, sprinkling it over the makeshift mattress Walter had constructed, like a topping.

And when he slept, he slept better than in that _horrid_ bed. He loved feeling the stiff underside of the coffin through the thin pillows, he loved the smell of dirt around him, he loved being confined in a small space.

_Everything was dark, someone was screaming, someone was praying, someone was crying. There was blood and sweat and tears everywhere. _

_It was him. _

_In this black world, everything seemed only inches away. A wall of darkness closed in on him, soothing him, welcoming him like an old friend. _

_Vlad slept peacefully, Radu tucked at his side like a faithful dog. _

"Alucard…Alucard..."_ Taptaptap_, went something against the side of his coffin. _Taptaptap_. "Alucard…wake up!" _BANGBANGBANG!_

With a comical snort, Alucard snapped his eyes open, staring up at Integra, who held a very enticing brass-colored liquid.

"Walter said you drank the last of the brandy, so I thought I'd get more." She put the liquor bottle in his face and shook it, Alucard's eyes following the alcohol. "Do you always get addicted to a harmful liquid?"

"Perhaps," Alucard took the thick, square, stocky glass and sipped it. "It used to help me sleep. The brandy was warm, flavorful, sweet like blood.

"I doubted that you slept at all." Integra said, standing. It felt odd to see Alucard's coffin on the floor, as it was usually propped up on something, whether it be the crates his dirt came in, or even perched precariously on the armrests of his chair.

"The same could be said about you," Alucard sighed, resting on one of his elbows. His feet were bare from his own stubbornness, but he would die from choking on his own pride before he put _slippers_ on. "What do you want of me?"

"What do you think of this?" She held up a grey tie, dangling it in front of Alucard.

"I think I would consider it if I got to hang myself with it," Alucard made a face like he had drank foul blood. "Have you become so mannish that you wear ties now?"

Integra glared at him as he sat up. "It is not for me, but for you."

"Oh?" Alucard looked down at himself. His pajamas were once again Arthur's, and still much too big. "Am I to wear it while I sleep? Do you wish for me to accidentally choke myself?"

The Iron Maiden scoffed, crumpling the refused tie into a small ball of linen with one deft hand. "You do realize the time, do you not?" It was barely _dusk_.

Alucard smiled so wide Integra feared his head would split in two. "_Yes_." He says in a whispery voice. "A lovely time to sleep, for the night is much more interesting. I thought I would sleep until dark."

"But very unhealthy for a mortal," Integra held up her other hand and unrolled the other tie she had with a flip of her wrist. This one was a bright mahogany. "Is this more to your tastes?"

"Yes, but," Alucard stepped from his coffin, looking longingly at it. "Why am I wearing one tonight?"

Glaring at him, Integra stated the obvious. "I believe it was you who stated 'I will never let you go to the Palace as long as I am living.'"

He stared back. "And then you said that I wasn't technically alive, and left me here."

"But you came anyway."

"And you got _terribly furious_."

"I yelled -."

"Sent me to my coffin." Alucard put on a face not unlike the suffering martyr's. "But why a tie now?" His eyes lit up as if he was a dog and she was jingling car keys.

"You are living now…and Walter is no longer a suitable chaperone, no matter how adept he is at scaring the men away." Integra smirked at him. "Will you scare them away for me?"

"Gladly." Alucard snatched up the tie, obviously ready to change out of his bed attire, but then he stared at her expectantly. "But I cannot."

"Why not?" Integra twitched. She rarely accepted formal invitations, and usually it was when the Queen had addressed them personally. She did not like getting dolled up and end up being surrounded by _men_. And Alucard was usually the best _thing_ to have along, as he could grin at someone so that it looked innocent to the naked eye, but to the receiver it would look as if a million death threats were being staked into their heart.

"Well, if I changed with you in here, Walter would accuse me of being a dirty old man – though he can't _talk_." Alucard glared at the door, and a loud burst of snickers came from it before disappearing. "_Damn him. He's like a kid again._" He wrinkled his nose as Integra made for the door as well, her stride fast.

She opened the door, stuck her head out, and screamed in the manner of a shrill mother.

"_Walter! Act your God Forsaken AGE!"_

Another burst of laughter came from down the hall.

"_I am_!"

OOOOO

"Tell me, have you been here often?"

"Do you know Her Majesty?"

"Are you married?"

"A widower?"

Integra flinched visibly again as Alucard suavely answered each question with a kind sentence, though hinted subtly that he was not interested. "Good God; you brought me along just to keep the moths off _your_ flame."

"Perhaps," Alucard grinned, showing off pointed – but clean, _finally_ – teeth. He took her hands in his and swung her around in a waltz, which made the other women (who were mostly middle-aged, much to his dismay) scatter with green jealousy tingeing their faces. "But you have to give me a bit of fun – I do still have some _Dracula_ underneath me. Give the old man his simple pleasures."

"I always knew your pleasure was women," Integra sighed in exasperation, staring at the suit he had primped himself in, and how the tie clashed well. "But never _older_ women."

Alucard raised an eyebrow, swinging her gallantly again. "Do you wish for me to rob the cradle? I prefer to date my own age."

"Then go find a corpse from your era."

"Ouch, that stung." Alucard tried to pout, but his face would not allow it, as his lips were already stretched into a gigantic grin. "I meant the age I _look_."

Integra raised an eyebrow. "Once again, _go find a corpse_."

"You treat me as if I were old," Alucard said, deftly making it so that she was stuck close to his body. "Could an old man do this?"

Rolling her eyes, Integra gave him a hard glower. "You have as much charm as the bats you turn into."

His expression told her that she had hit a sensitive cord. "Must you talk of my immortality? I gave it up for you." Another swig, and Alucard was leading her along with the sea of other guests, each move the same as those around him.

"Oh?" Integra looked at those around her with the air of someone wishing to avoid the eyes of their partner; which she did wish to do, for one of the first times in her life. The other time she wanted to do it was when her associate had had breath worse than Alucard's, which usually smelt like rotting corpses, and all she wanted to do was get some fresh air before she swooned. "And why would you do that? Walter had mentioned a contract when he briefed me on it."

Alucard swore something that would have made a sailor blush (something along the lines of _noun adjective pronoun, truly rude noun adjective._) "I should have known the little traitor would do something like that; I only threatened the Police Girl." Integra made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a huff.

"And _why_ did you do this?"

"Because I love you."

OOOOO

Kana: I had PLANNED this damn chapter MUCH longer, and with a better cliffhanger, but my lethargic ass just DENIED me the right. I actually FORGOT I had this story going until a few days ago I went 'why do I have all these docs here?' and this hit me like a dump truck followed by another dump truck. I am SO sorry, but the plot is still there.

Review Responses: WHAT?! Only FOUR? No wonder I forgot…I am unloved (oozes slime and shame) I suck…(crawls into corner of self loathing)

Cannot fathom a PenName: I liked Pip too, though he was influenced by my usual 'damn witty' dialect. When you have a big project due or something to remember, just take A LOT of sticky notes and write '_Remember BLAHBLAHBLAH, INSULT!'_ and put them all over your room and above your bed. Hell, put them by the loo. Right now, all my notes say '_Remember English, vocab, and HELLSING YOU MORON!'_ And I even stuck one onto my Turnip Head plushie, so now he's Post-it Head…oh the humiliation.

VampireEgyptian: (shiver) I hate not having money (I need a job). I blew all my money on the Anime Con, and now I've found a lot of books that I wanna read – and one included my newest obsession! I change them FREQUENTLY – and I have nothing to buy them with. (Sniffle) oh America, why must we use money as a bargaining chip, why not chocolate? Or better yet, rocks…rocks and chocolate.

Master of the Boot: (nod nod) Alucard is like Jack Nicholson now… (sp?). Preying upon young girls…he's a nasty old lecher. But hey, I'm a Dracula whore, so I wouldn't care either way. I'd still throw myself at him with all the abandon of an ugly hooker. (Alucard: (standing in the middle of the freezing rain) I'm…perfectly…fine…dammit… Walter: He's gonna DIE (wail))

Hmm… I can somehow picture him in the Estate, and all of a sudden the Retirement Police just BUST in and scream "All right! White shoes, white shirt, white pants, white socks! Move it! Into the truck! We're going to FLORIDA!" XD

Lord Makura: _Le GASP! _Shave the moustache!? NEVAH! (clutches Alucard) It's so…so…THERE…At least it's not a HANDLEBAR moustache…HOLY FUCK! The images! God dammit! I gave myself bad images again! I gave myself a mental image of Alucard as fucking MARIO! (dies laughing)

End Responses

The authoress is currently dead, but she would like you to READ AND REVIEW…please?


	9. Bats in your Belfry

Kana: WEWT! Hiho SILVAH! AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!

**D****isclaimer:** If I owned Hellsing, I would create a machine that made it possible to rip characters out of their manga, and I would make Alucard my own personal _Love_ _Puppet_.

"Vampirism is an STD; this is why we use protection people!" – Me. I have a very logical mind, no? Sorry for such a long wait, but school, contests, homework and such. And the fact that I want my parrot. Lets pray!

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Nine: Bats in Your Belfry**

OOOOO

_Swish, sway, turn, again. Swish, sway, turn, again. Swish, sway, turn, again. _

Integra was silent, but not in the way Alucard expected. There was no suffocating tension that could snap a relationship in half, or an unsettling din. The latter might be because of the fact that blaring music was playing in the ballroom, though.

"You seem to be taking it well." Alucard noted, staring at her.

The Iron Maiden's hand was sticky with sweat, but she waved away the feeling. "It was old information to me." _Swish._

"Oh?" a slim eyebrow raises. _Sway._

"Yes." _Turn_. "It was common knowledge that you fancied me. It always was."

_Again. The mantra continued._ "I guess I make myself too obvious."

"Just a little."

OOOOO

"God, how do you stay so _impassively good natured_ during this?" Integra rubbed her temples as the ceaseless drone of voices tore at her skull and sat on her brain and poked the backs of her eyes with freaking _toothpicks_.

"I've had experience." Alucard watched a couple waltz with a wistful look. Integra had dragged him away from the polished dance floor, with many comments on him being a 'hopeless romantic' that were not all that necessary.

"Oh?"

"Oh _yes_." He grabbed two thin glasses from a passing waiter and handed one to Integra. He then tilted his head back and drank whatever was in the glass. "_Hmm_, strong; tastes like…_absinthe?_"

"You get drunk?" Integra's right eyebrow twitched in surprise.

"Indeed. I find it a perfect remedy for a headache when it's induced by _this,_" with a great sweeping movement, Alucard gestured towards the crowd. "Though the last time I drank, I became completely – how do you say – plastered…to the wall. A whole flask of laudanum."

Integra put the rim of her glass to her lip, smelling the liquor. Absinthe was strong, but laudanum was much stronger – a drug it was. And an entire flask of it could…

"You were trying to die?" She asked, taking a small sip. The alcohol hit her head on, like a small fright train. Alucard chuckled at her, draining the rest of his glass.

"Perhaps. And if it had worked…" His half-lidded eyes scanned her features, searching for an emotion that he desired so… He yawned until his jaw cracked. "I'm tired. Can we go now?"

"I guess you _were_ about to sleep when I intruded upon you," Integra said wistfully, looking towards the head of the room, where a seemingly endless line of guests waited to speak with Her Majesty. "But I don't think it's wise to leave without visiting the Queen."

Alucard made a sound of disgust. "Must we? I cannot bear…"

"Stop acting like an old fool," Integra scoffed. "You sound like a romantic." _Again with the 'r' word. _

"I'm Dracula. College professors have analyzed my brain in that _damn_ book and they all came to one conclusion -."

"That you're terribly evil and are the incarnate of perverse thoughts?" Integra said slyly, a hint of a smile just barely touching her lips.

"Alright, _two_ conclusions." Alucard bristled in rage. Not many people tolerated having their brains picked, and poor Dracula was a _subject_ in some schools. People got A's on exams if they specified that he could have been based off of Vlad Dracula. During a period of peace, Alucard had taken those classes – in disguise, of course – and got _C's_. He scared his professor to death though (not literally, in this case at least), when he revealed himself. The man now lives in a monastery in the hills of France, where people pilgrimage to hear his tales of meeting the devil, who apparently has a black moustache and wears red fedoras. Alucard is _completely _innocent, though.

"I know you're a loving vampire," Integra said, patting him on the cheek roughly. She walked towards Her Majesty, who was gesturing for them halfway across the room. The crowd parted before her like a biblical Red Sea, and Alucard followed close behind, his clothes and hair floating slightly. Integra had always thought it was his vampirism that made him do that, but it seemed as if he did it _naturally_. "Now come on. I'm sure she'll want to see you."

"Does she know of this yet?" Alucard whispered into her ear as they neared Her Majesty.

"Yes."

"Damnation…"

OOOOO

By the time Integra had finished chatting with Her Majesty, Alucard had vanished. She furrowed her brow and set her mouth into a hard line and began to search for the man, weaving through the guests and asking them if they had seen a tall, lean man with a moustache, bright green eyes, a mahogany tie, and long black hair.

Finally, a male guest pointed towards the chairs. "Saw him go down there a half an hour ago. Seemed a bit haphazard, so I left him to himself."

"That sounds like Alucard." She thanked the man and continued to push through the clusters of wealthy nobility until she reached the chairs in the back corner of the room, far from the Queen.

Sprawled across three foldout chairs was a big black lump. A big black lump that breathed and snorted every so often. Integra felt her mouth twitch with amusement as she nudged Alucard with her foot, feeling him jerk slightly. A sliver of green glowed under the umbrage of his cloak as he cracked open an eye.

Alucard grumbled at her. "Hmmn, sleepy. Are we leaving now?"

"Perhaps," Integra watched him recede back into his cloak, shifting on his folding chairs. "I'll call for the car, alright?"

"Thank you, Master." Alucard relaxed again, oblivious to the fact that he was still at a black-tie event. Or maybe he didn't care…

Integra watched him sleep a bit more, until she found that his moustache twitched while he dreamed – she stored this in a corner of her mind, for amusement during meetings. Then she turned around, only to be dragged down instantly.

Alucard was awake and vigilant as he pinned her to the floor, shielding her. Before Integra declared how she would skin him (with a dull rusty knife, slowly, and then tack him to her office door as a warning), she followed his gaze, and felt her skin become clammy.

Hundreds of bats were pouring in from a shattered pane of glass near the ceiling. They screeched and squealed and darted for heads, mussing hair and making crowds of people scream with fear and distaste. Her Majesty was instantly taken away calmly, to a safer room as guests clustered near the doors, trying to shove each other through.

And in the center of the room, only a few yards away, was Radu. Smiling.

OOOOO

When you want to do something otherwise impossible, you fake it. Like when you were a child, and you acted out a party, using water for tea and crackers for biscuits. Parents and relatives and the general adult world would gush and watch you, talking of how cute it was and falling into bouts of nostalgia.

Seras took the teacup that Walter offered her, smiling at the pinkish liquid inside. "Really Walter, cream and sugar?"

"Even vampires can get bored with plain blood all the time." Walter's cigarette bobbed up and down when he spoke, and smoke drifted out with each word. The longer he spoke, the longer the cylinder of ash became at the end of it.

"I guess," Seras took a sip and felt the gritty sugar grains on her tongue. Sugar could not dissolve completely in blood, and it left her grinding them under her teeth.

Walter tapped the ash into his own tray – an empty hash can – and looked at her. "You seem depressed; is something wrong?"

"I don't know," Seras mumbled, staring at the blood and the teacup. "I just feel…" she bristled when suddenly, the fragile teacup was in pieces in her clenched fist. Walter made a tiny 'yeep' noise as her hand began to bleed.

"There's something wrong with Alucard." He said, though it was more of a question.

Seras bit her lip. "Something…"

_Oooh, girly, I feel it too. Sends chills down my spine. _

OOOOO

_There was snow everywhere. It speckled his hair and stung his face, sneaking into openings in his frock coat and chilling his bones. The flakes hissed as they landed on the fire that consumed the battle field. And covered the bodies of the dead; snow melted on the still steaming blood._

_Vlad felt himself dying. There was a gash cutting his stomach open, spilling things that should never meet the fresh air onto the ground. The pain had crippled him, but now there was only a frozen numbness. He readied himself for death. _

_The soft 'crunch', 'crunch', 'crunch' of boots and fresh snow caught his attention. His eyesight was bleary, with only colors defining the blood from the snow and the black night from the flakes. A blotch of white signified that a glove was reaching for his face. _

_An arm came around his shoulders and propped him up. The white splotch wiped the blood away from his lips, and licked some away. They murmured gently in his ears, kissing his cheek, and then bit his neck. Hard. _

_A whimper escaped his lips as the blessed numbness disappeared, and his body erupted with pain. Something warm was brought to his lips, and he drank it greedily, savoring the taste. _

_A voice whispered in his ears. "They will come for you. Imprison you, and execute you. When you can, drink the blood of those fallen before you, and you will survive anything."_

_Another kiss on his face. "Live for me."_

OOOOO

"This is why being a recluse pays off," Alucard breathed, shooing away a bat as it tried to claw at Integra's hair. They couldn't do anything, not now, not without killing themselves. "If you hadn't dragged me here, I would be safely in my coffin -."

"While I perished?" Integra shot back.

"Yes. That is the general plan."

"What happened to that 'I love you' crap?"

"Yes, well, you should know me by now." Alucard covered her with his cloak when another bat swooped down. The bat was instantly grabbed by him and had its wing torn off.

"Then what are you doing now?" Integra smirked.

"Thinking on my toes." Both of them darted across the ballroom, dodging fallen chairs and hoards of bats. Alucard's bats – _his_ bats. Radu would pay. "You're just following me."

"Being dragged along more like it." Integra said factually, stumbling a bit when she nearly tripped over he own shoes. Alucard didn't even break stride. "What's the plan?"

"Don't know yet. I can't exactly shoot him."

"I can."

Integra took out the pistol that was perpetually glued to its ankle-holster. She aimed in the way Alucard used to – using her arm as a stabilizer, and fired. A bullet clipped Radu on the neck, making him jerk his head to the side for a fraction of a second. But that was enough time for Alucard to pull her across the rest of the room and out the entrance door without having his face ripped off. Out the door and right out into the street, where only a few stray bats were gliding around.

Noting the slightly ragged quality of his breathing, Integra watched him kneel down on the sidewalk, his chest swelling and falling rapidly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, peering down at him.

"Sure…I just feel my age…" Alucard coughed a few times and stood up, looking more haphazard than anything.

"Still thinking on your toes?"

"Not really." Alucard looked at her with forlorn eyes. "I didn't really think this far ahead."

"Then maybe we can help."

The pair looked up, seeing the similar shapes of Walter and Seras _gliding_ down from the Heavens. _I knew they were a godsend_, Integra thought blearily, blinking her eyes as Seras folded her 'wing' around her side as she let go of Walter's vest, letting him hop to the ground. The Hellsing's trash disposal unit had arrived.

OOOOO

Kana: (dead) Lets all thank online manga and the fact that 'nee-chan's agreed to be Girlycard. It would have been up a while ago, but the site decided to malfunction around the time I was done, so I went sleepy.

Review Responses:

Mgalekgolo: 'Nee-chan (boinks you on the head) Remind me to boink you again tomorrow (no nasty jokes) I know honey, your uncanny ability to love the Major is chilling, but funny. I promise not to kill him again...maybe...NAZI LOVER!

VampireEgyptian: I love Walter being a brat – cause all teenagers are. Believe me, even I can be an asshole if the person deserves it, or just LETS it come. Actually, if the above is nice enough not to cut her hair…(_TEH!)_

Cannot fathom a PenName: Sorry hun, I have a boyfriend. An undead WoW boyfriend who goes by the nickname Major cause he has a Nazi hat. Yay for your good grades! Give me some, cause my language class is KILLING me! (grabs Alucard and runs) MINE!

cute girl: I ALWAYS have a little AxI in my stories – its one of the only Hellsing pairings I like, other than GCxW and SxP. So fear not!

Lord Makura: Run Alucard! Run for your moustache's LIFE! (makes funny vomiting noise) Oh…Mario Alucard…_hhhhmmmghh…_The things that make you go _bluugh_.

Me!: YOU! (I dunno) I AM undead – by birth, actually. I was so silent at birth that they thought I was dead, so it is a joke in my family that I am undead (which goes along very well, seeing as my dad's nickname is Count Dracula since he's not a morning person). Good thing I wasn't! Anyway, I never really discontinue a story, I just write it slowly for a while.

Alucard Is Under My Bed: Honey, you really should get that Alucard out from under your bed – he'll begin to smell after a while. Or, at least, the bodies he feeds off of will. Anyway, yay for Bloody! Don't steal my post-it notes! I love my post-it notes. This is a good threat… 'I will take a potato chip…and EAT IT'. That'll scare the shit out of even Alucard. Oh yeah. Thanks for the compliments, they make my ego get slightly bigger each time, like the movements of the continental plates, only slower.

End Responses

Read and Review? Please? For a cookie? How about if I pour honey all over young Walter and send him to you wrapped in chocolate foil if you review?


	10. A Thousand Times Over

Kana: All in all, donate to AIDS research centers, because Alucard's bound to have it. He drinks the blood…he's a disease, obviously. WARNING: it ends quite abruptly.

**Disclaimer:** The day I own Hellsing is the day my friend likes Twilight. In other words, NEVER in a million years. (Why wouldn't anyone like Twilight? A little cliché is good for the soul…)

Quote of the Week: "Cram a BASTARD in it!" – Icon. Don't piss me off or I will cram one into _you_. (For more info, see my icon 3)

OOOOO

**Dead, Death, and Dying**

**Chapter Ten: A Thousand Times Over**

OOOOO

"Walter…have you ever tried to kill Alucard?" The answer was obvious.

"Against my consent, I have." Walter replied, tightening his wires. Instead of being made of the strong microfibers like they had been, he had chosen ones made of silver. Guaranteed to slice through any vampire – even Radu. "But remember, I failed."

Seras stared into space. "Are we going to fail now?"

The building was beautiful, she decided. It was gilded in some areas, displaying patterns of ivy and other unidentifiable regal designs that crawled around the windows and doors. The professional skylights had been made to let in sunlight – or in this case, moonlight – but had instead allowed in a hostile vampire, and they had been shattered. It was unnaturally silent inside the closed doors, but outside was alive with hysteria; people wondering what was happening, why the bats were active, if someone had died.

Integra and Alucard, of course, where somewhere in there, calm, cool, and collected. They avoided the press, avoided the police, and basically avoided normal human contact. Seras could still hear Integra's orders to her and Walter.

"_Forget everything you have learned from Alucard about killings vampires. Do not aim for the heart or the head; incarcerate him, cut off his legs and arms to give you enough time to go for his head – sever it at the neck. Then burn him before he has a chance to regenerate. Your only chance to make sure he never returns is to scatter the ashes at a crossroad."_

It seemed so hard, so complicated. Seras's hands shook and dampened, her body became jittery, and if she had a living heart, it would have sped up. She wanted her Master's voice in her head, reassuring her, condescendingly debasing her. She used to hate it, and now that it was gone, she missed it.

_Girly, remember, I am here, _Pip said.

Seras almost smiled, but her chest lightened. "I know." Walter didn't look at her. He knew who she was talking to.

_I am not as good as your sire, but I can still tell you to keep going. _

"Now really?" Seras's eyebrow rose. "That doesn't seem like you."

_Well, Cherie, if you die, so do I. At least, permanently _

Seras scowled and blocked him out. "Walter, if we kill Radu, will Alucard become…a vampire again?"

Walter shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. I am not a specialist about vampires. You should ask him once we're finished."

Smiling at last, Seras nodded. "I will. We will make it out alive."

_Amen to that, Girly. _

OOOOO

"Hmmn." Alucard suddenly chuckled, leaning back and staring at the sky.

"What's so funny?" Integra asked, looking at him sideways.

"I remember doing this exact same thing…when the Police Girl was still a fledgling."

"Doing what?"

"Sitting on a stoop and waiting for her to get in over her head," Alucard sighed, staring at the moon. "And I would come in when her thoughts became too hectic."

"And now you can't do that. You can't help her."

"I can't help anyone."

"You've been helping us for so long. Let us save you for once." Integra leaned over and put her lips on the side of his head. She felt his back tense.

OOOOO

_Girly, perhaps you can be persuaded into calling for help?_

Seras bit down on her lip as Walter lit another cigarette, an obvious sign that he was deep in thought. "And why would we need help? It's just one vampire," she snapped.

_One five hundred year old vampire, as strong as your Master, with his souls and his powers. Yeah, but only __**one**__. He's gonna crush you with his thumb like an ant. _Pip's apparition floated nervously beside her, chewing the inside of his cheek as his thoughts were projected outside her head. Walter looked up briefly.

Then his eyes widened. Walter stared at the ground in shock – but a good shock. A shock that gave Seras a bit of hope.

"What is it?" Seras asked as Pip stared at Walter, wondering what he had done.

"Radu is not like Alucard…" Walter mumbled, thinking out loud. "He may have stolen his souls, but Alucard was different…he was stronger…" He grinned.

"He had been enhanced through experimentation…" Seras breathed, smiling as well.

"Radu _is_ like every other vampire," Walter's wires were trembling in excitement and anticipation. His smirk widened considerably, showing a few teeth. "And I have an idea."

_Sweet God,_ Pip was back inside the confines of her mind. _That boy scares me_. Seras laughed at him.

OOOOO

Seras felt a sense of déjà vu as she used her shadowy 'wing' to blend into the darkness, watching Radu as he patiently waited, sitting on the throne that had held the Queen. His legs were crossed, and he surveyed the ballroom, checking for stragglers. He was obviously waiting for Hellsing to deploy their mercenaries to 'silence' him. Seras knew it would break the contract he had with Alucard, giving him free rein to destroy the organization.

Little did he know that she was watching him. Seras raised her shot gun and braced it against an upturned table.

Suddenly, Radu spoke. "I can smell you, Draculina. Your fear is quite apparent."

He was right, her hands shook violently. But Seras narrowed her eyes and pulled the trigger anyway. The bullet hit Radu right between the eyes, and sent him slumping into the chair, growling with fury.

Then Seras ran. She ran as fast as she could – which was pretty fast with her being a vampire and all – and soon vanished from the ballroom. Radu recovered quickly, and was on her tail in seconds. When he released his souls, they gave off a massive shockwave that blew out the windows of the building and set off all the alarms on the cars on the entire block. She ran through the building, never leaving, never returning to the ballroom, circling the rooms over and over.

And while she distracted Radu and his souls, Walter got busy with his plan. Using his wires, he created a literal 'net' in the ballroom. It was a few feet above the ground, and the wires drooped to the floor, draped over chairs and tables, wall decorations and columns. All ready to be stretched taunt when they were ready. He stood under a doorframe, his hands sweating as he waited.

And waited…anxiously, staring up into the night sky that peeked through the shattered panes of the skylight.

OOOOO

"Alucard…what is it?" Integra watched as Alucard suddenly stiffened noticeably, his hair bristling.

"My souls…I – I can feel them still," he said in awe and slight joy. But then he paled dramatically, his green eyes bold against his skin. "Oh no…then that means…"

He shoved Integra out of the way just as a black, phantom javelin struck the area she had been sitting. The thrower soon followed, barreling into Alucard and pulling both of them into the road. They struggled for a few moments, with Alucard losing ground, until Integra got her bearings and picked up the javelin. It felt odd, sending an electrical-like current shooting in her arm and making her adrenaline peak.

The souls had gotten loose from the building. No less than a dozen of the shadowy Wallachian soldiers were crawling around, attacking the people that were in and around the police barrier.

She threw the spear, and it struck the offender in the neck, making it vanish in a spiraling maelstrom of smoke and shadows. Alucard crouched for a moment, regaining his equilibrium. He never noticed…

"_Alucard_!" Integra shrieked as another of Radu's familiars picked up a _car_, tossing it towards the former vampire. It landed with a _thud_ a few yards from him, and began to roll from its own momentum. She had never known a soul to be so strong. He was staring at it in shock, as if he couldn't believe what was coming for him.

Or maybe he couldn't believe that one of his own souls did it.

"_Alucard!_"

OOOOO

Seras wondered how she came to be like this. She had promised herself – she had promised her _master_ – that she would never let herself be cornered, by criminal or vampire alike. And yet here she was, on the roof of a royal British building, at the edge of a shattered glass pane, being stalked by Vlad Dracula's traitorous brother.

Life was _strange_.

"Come on, Draculina I can practically _smell _your fear_._" Radu drawled, prowling slowly in the shadows. Intimidating her, scaring her, trying to make her step back and fall.

But Seras kept staring him right in the eye, her mouth set in a determined line as she tried to keep herself calm. Radu was right, her palms were damp, and she shook terribly. He paced around her carefully, and she turned herself to watch his every step.

"I want to know," she demanded, forcing her voice to be stronger. "I want to know how you are alive." _Her master wanted to know_.

Radu smirked. "You saw me die in his mind, did you not?" Seras nodded. "You want to know why I am not in my shallow grave?" She nodded once more. "Well, that is a simple question, and it deserves a simple answer…"

He shrugged casually, walking towards her. "It's quite ironic actually…our father turned me, just as he did to my brother and Mircea."

Seras's ears rang as Pip let out a string of blasphemous curses that could have put a sailor to shame. Her jaw sagged a bit as she tried to grasp the idea of…a _family_ of vampires. It couldn't be true – she knew Alucard's father and elder brother to be dead, long dead, from even before Radu had committed his betrayal.

_But didn't it make sense?_ Seras's brow furrowed. Alucard had survived a beheading by drinking the blood of his soldiers – but that was not the only thing that made someone a vampire. It made them an _independent vampire_ (Seras could almost recall Alucard's gallant speech about it). Someone had to have sired him…

She had been so worked up in her thoughts that it took her a few milliseconds to realize that Radu was charging her, streamlining himself and running across the roof towards her, ready to push her into the shattered skylight. Seras braced herself with her dark wing just in time, keeping most of her balance as she was struck. Any normal human would have been tossed into the air by such a force, perhaps breaking their neck in the process – but not Seras. She had the same blood that Radu had flowing in her veins, and she was barely jostled by the attack.

But it still knocked her down…and into the window – which led down into the ballroom. Seras gritted her teeth and struck out as she fell, taking Radu with her.

Walter saw them and instantly pulled at the wires, using his entire body to make them taunt enough to slice through Radu, using the vampire's own momentum against him. But if Seras fell too.

"_Alucard!"_ Both of them heard Integra's scream. One did not need sensitive hearing to know it was her. Seras's spine went numb as she flapped her wing, gaining altitude as Radu tried to propel himself back up. Her desperation to find out what happened to her master made her think rapidly.

Her boot struck him in the chest with as much force as she could muster, sending him plummeting down. Radu's eyes were still wide as he fell onto the wires, the silver burning through him like hot iron. He let out a shriek of agony as his skin seared.

Some of the pieces of him that fell to the ballroom floor were smaller than a human hand, while others were huge chunks of flesh. Radu's head dropped near Walter's shoes as he let his aching arms relax, rolling on the floor. A perfect trophy, soon to be burned.

"Seras," Walter said dispassionately, taking his box of matches out from his pocket. "Will you be so kind as to get the gasoline? I'm sure Her Majesty won't mind of we burned this place to the ground."

Seras did not hear him though; she was too busy clutching at her chest as a pain greater than anything she had ever experienced ripped through her. Inside her mind, Pip's voice grew in volume as hysteria overtook him.

Something had happened to Alucard.

OOOOO

Integra had watched as the rolling car hit Alucard head-on, trundling over him as he tried to imitate a poor impression of the fetal position. She heard him cry out once – just once – in pain, and then he was silent. She did not know whether he was alive or dead, only that there was a lot of blood.

She felt numb – perhaps because Alucard's pain was so great that there was no more pain left for her. Integra's mind was screaming at her to get a grip on herself. She was the Iron Maiden, the great Integra Hellsing, who watched her father die and then killed her uncle a few days later. Who was the master of Dracula.

_Who just lost her Dracula. _That thought made the blessed numbness vanish, replacing it with a cold sensation that burrowed deep into her spine. He could not be dead…could he? The unfamiliar tightening began in her throat.

It began to snow as Integra crawled on her hands and knees to Alucard. She did not notice the souls dissolving harmlessly in limp clouds of dust, and she did not care as blood soaked her pants. All of her instincts were gone as she checked for a pulse. _There was none. _As this thought set in, she eased Alucard into her lap, cradling his torso. She must have sat there for an hour, because by the time she realized it was cold, Alucard's blood was no longer showing up underneath the snow. He was just beginning to go into rigor, with his fingers turning a sickly blue and becoming stiff. Walter and Seras were no where to be found.

"_Aye, he always gets into trouble."_ A voice said behind her.

"_I say we leave him to die this time." _A second one grumbled.

"_Don't be so heartless, I don't think it was his fault this time."_

"_It was his fault every other time."_ The voice paused. Integra could hear the faint crunches of boots on snow.

"_Would you like me to do it again? I do enjoy it."_

"_After you. Look what happened to the one I turned."_

A chuckle. _"I think that had to do with Radu's personality._"

At the mention of Radu's name, Integra turned her head around to look at the two voices. All she saw was two raven-haired men standing side-by-side, staring at her from a distance. When they walked closer, she did not care. When they gently pried her away from Alucard, she only cared a little.

And when one of them carefully pressed a bleeding wound to Alucard's mouth, she stared.

OOOOO

Integra tapped on her desk absently, staring in front of her. On the polished mahogany was a pair of white gloves, with pentacles printed on the top. Walter had tried to get the blood out of Alucard's gloves, but they were still a little discolored. She rubbed the fabric between her thumb and forefinger.

Nostalgia affected so many people on a daily basis, why not her? Integra smiled silently as she remembered the vampire. He was dead now.

A familiar red-clad figure phased through her ceiling, hanging upside down while his fedora stayed firmly on his head. "Master, are my gloves ready yet? I am getting quite tired of these temporary bonds."

Undead, at least.

"Yes Alucard," Integra said, holding the gloves out to him. It had taken her weeks to replace the seals on them – she had read so many notes by her grandfather that she was sure she knew him better than Alucard did – and during that time, he had been forced to use a makeshift bond, which was glitchy at best. Scotland Yard was still wondering why there was a crater the size of a tourist bus in London, and Integra had had to make up some excuse for Alucard. She did not want to tell them it was because the vampire had tried to do a limited release, and it had backfired on him. "They're ready."

Alucard took the new gloves eagerly; pulling off the messier, off-white ones he had been wearing and jerking the old ones on one at a time. He was grinning like a child with a new toy, flexing his fingers into fists and back again. "I did _not_ like those – the fingers were not long enough."

"Complain to Walter then." Integra lit a cigar, smiling as she did so. He was not the only one who liked having things normal again.

Suddenly, a very boyish scream echoed through the mansion, making Alucard smirk. "I suspect that Walter is not so fond of our new recruits."

"Indeed," Integra stood up and walked to the door, sticking her head out of it. "Mircea, please stop trying to eat the help!"

"_I'm not! I'm just _scaring_ the help!"_

At least, as normal as things could be.

OOOOO

_Fin_

OOOOO

Kana: :D Yay! My second Hellsing fic is done! (Funny, my Hellsing stuff is always good, and never rambles on to a monster story of fifty chapters. And yet I can never finish a Yugioh fic without making it twenty one chapters and killing the plot.) And the end of this one suggests the plot I will have in my next one.

Review Responses: Ouch…you people kill me with your lack of love. Don't I deserve love? (goes into a corner to be emo)

Cannot fathom a PenName: (laughs) I bounce when I'm happy too – another bad habit 'nee-chan gave me. That and my timed 'breaks'. Oh well, I made her a Hellsing fan, made her love the Major, and will one day see her be Rip van Winkle/Girlycard (I dunno). You can go push Radu into a well now, though I don't think it'll be easy to find all of him. I hope your laptop is fixed. Whenever my laptop breaks (twice since I got it) I always go into a frustrated hysteria, even going to the point where I just laid on the floor and cried like a big baby/drama queen T-T

Lord Makura: _Actually_, Count Dracula _does_ have a moustache. And a weird goatee thingy. And he's _old_er. But Hirano got it right. Poor Integra, in AxI it must scratch her during snogging. (winces at memories of scratchy moustaches)

VampireEgyptian: (gives you the promised Walter) Of course Alucard got C's on himself! Cause that book is full of lies! He should take the class our school offers 'Our Bodies, Ourselves' (shiver). DAMN woman! You show love in odd ways! Though I think my friends and I would totally punch and break each other's fingers the way other's would paint toenails and do hair. Or maybe we'd just fling Coolwhip at each other and pretend to be a lesbian orgy. Yeah…that's about right. Pip was here! I don't know how to look people up on Deviant art (emo) Alu's identity is his fedora, don't you know that? His guns just compensate for his lack of brides.

New lord of darkness: I don't think Alucard's gonna turn Integra anytime soon (not in my fics, at least. I don't think I'd do it justice…or maybe I just can't think of a good plot to wrap around it. But I promise to do it one day). He's always the No-Life King, even when he's ALIVE.

End Responses.

Now be Nice and Review! Please!


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